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Feeling trapped with narcissist partner

Purple4
Community Member

Firstly I don't even know why I call him my partner as I don't even feel like I'm in a relationship. I feel really stupid saying this out loud as I am a 46 year old woman who should know better.

I have been in a 'relationship' for 6 years, a very one sided relationship. He takes and I give. I just don't know why I stay with him. I'm so unhappy but yet I stay.

My partner is also my boss at work which complicates everything.

He is sucking all the joy out of my life and I dream about life without him. My doctor asked me why do I stay and my response was that he needs me. He wouldn't cope if I left him.

I'm so down tonight after another hurtful degrading arguement with him and I just try to put my relationship in the too hard basket and ignore my feelings.

I dont have close friends or family I trust to talk to so I am very isolated .

Has anyone broken free from a narcissist? I'm just so exhausted.

21 Replies 21

Guest_1643
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Elsam

I'm sorry you're finding your life so entangled with this narcissist. Sometimes they really do sneak up into our space and then take over.
I would advise you to slowly build your self up - a change could really help with this, and I think soon you will find the strength inside, but i understand it isn't easy alone.
Obviously we are limited now with COVID but i would be recommending otherwise a trip without him or something totally seperate, to build up your idea of a life without him.

i would also gently challenge the idea that he needs you - as this is a common narcissitic ploy that they do. I found the idea of "supply" very interesting as it relates to abusers, they are looking for a fill or supply of energy from their victims, when the supply is used up they get it elsewhere. So it is not true need of that person, but just a need to feel propped up and soothed by a human.

sorry purple21 i meant to direct that to you not elsam x