Feeling lost

[Scoota]

Hi I'm feeling really depressed and down. I already suffer from major depression disorder and severe anxiety. I've been married for 23 years my husband IS FIFO and I enjoy my 2 weeks when he is away working. As soon as it gets time for him to return for a week off. I get really depressed and anxious.  I have trouble communicating with my husband when I discuss our future ? He snapped at me last time I asked. Saying "If you are not happy, pack your beds and F off." I cannot get this out of my head I keep thinking about what he said. This is not the first time either. He is very jealous and has anger management problems which he won't admit to. 

I'm definitely scared of him. I don't know how to handle my life when I live like this. I am a very sensitive person  kind and always caring. Just trying enjoy the rest of my life. With tears in my eyes. I need help and thoughts of what I should do with my life ?? 

[Sophie_M]

Hey Scoota,

Thank you for reaching out here. We’re sorry to hear how tough it has been lately. when you already have anxiety and depression, stressful vents can feel incredibly overwhelming.
We are also sorry to hear that the response you received when trying to communicate with your husband was not a positive one and can imagine this has increased your level of distress.

While it is not our role here to label what you are experiencing, the anger that was directed towards you and the statement that you are scared of your husband gives us some concerns for your wellbeing. If you ever want to talk some more, we encourage you to call our friends at 1800 RESPECT (180 737 732) to discuss how you are feeling. You can also call us on 1300 22 4636 any time, or reach us on webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support   
 
Thank you again for your courage and strength in sharing your story. We can only imagine how torn you are feeling, which can be such a tricky feeling to sit with. You deserve to enjoy your life, free of feeling scared. You are always welcome here – you are not alone in this 💙

Kind regards

Sophie M