Feeling lost/husbands anger issues

[Lookingforhelp22]

Hi everyone,

I ve just had an MRI as have been experiencing headaches and vertigo - dr thinks I have an intercranial lesion.

I also had some blood test results and need an ultrasound as my liver is not great. I m 28 years old and have been really worried & havent spoken to my husband much, when I have anxiety I shut down.

My husband has been abusive eg. calling me names for ignoring him but I m just so stressed about this & trying to process it all. its only been 2 days & he has anger issues so didnt want to be more stressed by what he might say. should i speak to him more? Any advice would be appreciated x

[Jigsaw9]

Lookingfor help

Thank you for reaching out to this supportive and friendly community. Rest assured you will not be judged while here so feel free to let us know how you are going.

It must be hard for you trying to juggle being a supportive wife and having the personal issues also. Trying going out to dinner and explaining to him how you feel. It is quite a bit you have been through and i'm sure you will find him to be sympathetic to your situation.

Hope this helps

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey Lookingforhelp22,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out. I'm sorry that you've been having to deal with this; I can understand why you'd be worried.

I know that in your post you asked what to say and I honestly do not know (sorry!). It's so hard to tell without knowing your husband and your relationship; what sort of ways might he react? Do you think understanding why you're worrying will help him since he knows rather than feels ignored?

Perhaps an option might be to tell him some of what you're going through (i.e. I'm going through some health issues, it's making me worried and it'd help if you gave me some space), or you might want to have a friend/supportive person with you while you tell him.

Either way - be kind to yourself. We'll be here to support you anyway that we can.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi -

I just wanted to add this link too.

https://www.1800respect.org.au/healthy-relationships/

You mentioned in your post that your husband was verbally abusive and I want you to know that that's not okay and you don't deserve to be called names. I hope that it's okay that I share this link; just in case you'd ever like to use it.

[White_Rose]

Dear Lookingforhelp

Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to learn you have what sounds like a horrible medical condition. I can imagine how distressed you are feeling about this.

Generally a husband is the logical person to help and comfort you so I wonder how much he knows about you and this condition. For some people, getting anxious turns into anger because they feel helpless especially when they don't know what's happening. On the other hand you find it difficult to speak about it because of your anxiety.

May I suggest you write your husband a letter explaining what is going on and how you feel? Tell him about the tests and what has happened so far. Ask him to go with you to the doctor to find out the final diagnosis. He would probably like to know how much you trust him even if he is unable to go.

When you are feeling less stressed you will be able to sit down with him and work out a process of general communication which takes into account your anxiety and his irritability. I think when you can do this you will both be happier.

Love to hear from you again.

Mary

[Jigsaw9]

lookingforhelp

There are many things we can do to reduce stress in our lives. Having a pet is a good example of this. Can be something as simple as a fish. Try to reduce your stress levels then approach your husband.