Feeling lost and confused

[4818]

I’m in a de facto relationship of nearly 2 years. She’s the light of my life but I know she doesn’t see me that way. I’m constantly being accused of cheating, watching porn, self pleasure, being an alcoholic (5 drinks per week). I’m no longer on Facebook, WhatsApp, messenger. I only communicate with my mum. My partner receives my phone bills so see can check them. I work in health care so I’m constantly accused of sleeping with colleagues, even my own gp. I have cameras inside of the house so she can monitor me at home when she’s at work. I’ve lost contact with all my mates. She’s now leaving me and going back home, 3000km away. I’m at a loss, I’m 54, I’ve got nowhere to go, I’m too old for a new mortgage. I’m at work now, but I know I’m not functioning correctly. 

[white knight]

I would, buy a caravan and move around the caravan parks.... maybe it will lead to a more flexible lifestyle without leases, bonds and queuing up for same.

You can forgive yourself for trusting her not to be so controlling as that characteristic is not displayed until you live together for some time. I would treat it as an escape, sad but true.

And be rest assured, another lady can one day become the light of your life even more so.

TonyWK