Hello Matchy,
From reading through your thread from the start, I see you invested a lot emotionally into this girl, and that this is your first time falling in love since your divorce. You didn't imagine ever falling in love again, and to have that opportunity dissolve must bring back a lot of painful memories for you. I see how desperately you wanted to make this work, even in spite of her being married to someone else and not able to make a firm commitment to you.
I really feel how you're blaming yourself for how things have turned out. I hope you can see the difference between who you are as a person (a good person) and any actions that you might now regret. There's always something to be learned when things don't go the way we would have liked, as much as they hurt like hell. What do you think you've learned from this experience?
