Family Arguments/Moving Out

[Telly101]

What do I do if I need to move out but can’t really afford it? My family and I keep having arguments that make me breakdown and I hate it. We can’t seem to resolve things and it’s just a continuous loop. I lash out for no reason and it causes me so much stress, I don’t want to live here anymore. I feel like I have no space in the house , I’m constantly judged and it feels like I’m being interrogated every time I do something. I don’t feel comfortable asking family/friends if I can stay with them. I can’t get a job due to personal reasons and have barely any income because of it.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Sadly, money does make the world go around. So my first instinct is for you to tackle your personal restrictions to enable you to get work or proceeding won't be possible.

In the meantime find and declare a place within your current property that you declare to all occupants as being you own voice free space, that meaning a place you won't be harassed. If they need to contact you they are permitted to text. That gives you the option of answering or not.

Such a place can be part of a she'd or your room.

You can read about a similar method I wrote about when you Google this-

Beyondblue topic relationship strife-the peace pipe

TonyWK

[geoff]

Hello Telly, thanks for joining the forums.

When we are suffering from any type of depression the comments we make to our family are usually criticised as being ridiculous or they have no sense or meaning to what's being talked about, which only push us deeper into the type of depression we have.

If by any chance we do something or say we are going to do it, we are told that it's not logical to do it, so our actions combined with what we say are always criticised because this illness forces us to do all of this, and it's actually not our fault.

Is it possible to ask you whether or not you are receiving any Centrelink payments but I know in Vic you can apply for immediate housing, another option is that Anglicare have immediate housing for those who qualify, plus the opp shop also have the same, the problem s that you have to apply for them and know that it's not going to be easy, but if you apply then you can find some peace.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Juliet_84]

Hi Telly101,

I’m so sorry to hear that you are trapped in this situation. I agree with Tony in that I think you need to focus on the personal reasons that are preventing you from working, as while ever you are not working you will be at the whim of whoever it is that is supporting you. This can obviously lead you down a very dangerous path as you no longer have the independence to leave situations that are bad for you. Given your personal restrictions, are there some jobs that may be more suitable such as work from home or phone-based work etc? For example, I was quite unwell a few years ago so changed my career to a home-based role. You are just obviously starting out in your life so I would hate you to set yourself up for a lifetime of being dependent on people and unable to leave bad situations as you are realizing now.

[Telly101]

Thank you TonyWk. I’m well on my way to sorting out my person restrictions, but unfortunately it is a long process. I do have my room as my quiet space, I’m now in the process of making it a calm space for myself to calm down and focus on myself. In regards to the topic you suggested, it’s actually helped ease the situation - hot drinks really do make a good peace offering. I’m very thankful you suggested that

[Telly101]

Thank you Geoff. That’s exactly how I feel at the moment. It’s a difficult situation because I know they love me but I also feel judged and ignored at the same time. It definitely makes me feel a bit better knowing there’s other people that understand my situation. I’m not eligible for housing, but I am on Centrelink. It’s been hard trying to save money during lockdown, and it certainly doesn’t help that rent is so expensive.

[Telly101]

Thank you Juliet. It’s been a very long process trying to figure out my health situation, which has definitely contributed to poor mental health. I’ve struggled finding work in the past because I’m not qualified for much. But I think it might be worth looking again to keep me preoccupied from unhelpful and negative thoughts. I’m someone who thrives off being independent, but with my current situation I feel like I wouldn’t do well living at home or moving out, so I’m really stuck. I know I want to move out but either way I’ll be in a bad headspace

[geoff]

Hello Telly, sometimes the thought of moving out terrifies people because of their usual support system, not that this may include your parents, but the knowledge of where everything is within the house and how long it takes for you to get to A or B and how you normally do it is something that does make you feel at ease, so when you move out there are so many different options you need to find out.

If you are ready to face these challenges, then it can be rather exciting, if you're that type of person, personally for myself, I find this to be rather difficult, while others love it.

Geoff.