Depressed wife, 2 young kids, controlling Mother in law, conflict relationships

[Paulzz]

We are in a difficult situation.. 2 kids under 5, mum who has struggled building friends at play group, kindergarten and has a conflicting relationship with her mum. Also, angry that she does not have a life, the kids suck all her energy.

Now, me, the husband gets dragged down by her anger. My ageing parents get dragged into conversations about unsupportiveness.

My wife is depressed angry, does not do things for herself. . I work 12 hours out of the house then get home to get kids in bed we don't have a life.

Not wife gets angry and reacts to people after the situation, not when it happens and puts it on me that I did not say anything. She's in a bad situation and I'm struggling with her anger lack of energy. I'm not perfect, I love the kids and revert to screaming at them when they don't consider us and listen

I've tried to be supportive.. We simply don't have support, time for ourselves and now we fight about the same topics..

We need professional help and somewhere to put the kids during those sessions it's all complex and draining

[SJ050]

Hi Paulzz

i can feel your pain mate. I am in a very very similar situation to you. We have two 5 year olds and a 7 year old. Absolutely no help from my side of the family and my wife only had her 77 year old grand mother and a couple of aunts to help look after the kid.

i hear people say we need to go out by ourselves at least once a fortnight to keep us better which will make coping with the kids easier but it is nearly impossible to do. I work at least five 12 hour days and every third Saturday. My wife is a nurse so she works all different shifts and is extremely tired and angry lots of the time which has taken a huge toll on our relationship, if I could call it that.

I think you need to somehow get to the counseling session and try hard to get time to yourselves. We haven’t and now I fear it is too late, we hardly ever speak to each other maybe have had sex twice this year when I have practically begged for it.

i feel I am getting depressed with life at the moment and struggle to think of a reason to breathe everyday.

Your feelings and thoughts are completely normal but you guys really need help before it’s too late.

Try to think of someone/somewhere you can leave the kids just to give yourselves some timeout and go for a meal together.

i hope things get better for you soon, I have feeling you are a strong person.