Dealing with loneliness and constantly feeling down

[Anon_777]

This is my first post. I've been feeling really down for a few months ever since my ex of my first and only relationship decided to leave me for someone else. I know I have improved but I now feel like I'm at a standstill in always feeling lonely. I have friends and family, and do make time to see them but at the end of the day I always come home to a place where I live by myself and I just feel constantly lonely. Moving or living with others isn't an option as my lease still has many more months on it. I knew the lack of companionship would be hard to adjust to even though it wasn't a very long relationship but I'm growing tired of having no one to share things with. I've always been on my own and I used to be so good at it but now I hate it. I'm at uni full time too but rarely see social events I'm interested in and so I have no idea how to even make new friends. In the first few weeks after I was dumped I spoke to a counsellor for a one off session and they did give some good advice but I didn't really feel like I got a whole lot from the experience to go back.

I just want to be okay with my life but find myself hating where I'm at. Everything feels boring and nothing I do to make the day feel interesting ever feels worth it. I just want to not hate every day that comes and I don't know what to do about it anymore.

[MisterM]

That makes us two.
Going through this myself.
I'm a mature age uni student so I try keep to myself but guys way younger than me want to hang with me, the age gap makes me feel alone still.
My few friends are all married or in de facto relationships with kids and I've been feeling very lonely lately.
Not sure what to say other than you're not alone.
Are there any hobbies you can take up to add something new to life?

[Anon_777]

Hi MisterM,

It's nice to know I'm not alone, but I'm sorry to hear that you also struggle in this way. All of my friends are also in relationships and it really does add to the loneliness being the only single one. I'm not really sure what hobbies I would take up, I'm not really sporty or particularly creative. Reading is the only pastime that I guess could be a hobby. Maybe I should keep up with that more.

[MisterM]

Thanks mate. Yeah it's always me and a couple when I do something.
Seeing you like literature, have you thought about poetry or short story writing?

[quirkywords]

Anon777

Welome to the forum and thanks for your honest post.

I am sorry you are feeling like this and as MisterM has mentioned many will relate to this.

Being alone is especially hard after a relationship as well,as coping with doing things by yourself you are grieving the end of a relationship.

Finding something you like doing can be hard.

I notice you mention reading, so I was wondering if you had thought of joining a book club so,you can discuss what you are reading with others. If there is not one nearby , is there a bookshop or library that has talks by local writers or talks on interesting subjects?

just a couple of ideas . Also have you thought about keeping a journal and just writing down your thoughts. I find it a helpway to express my self and sort things out.

Thanks again for writing your post.

Quirky

[Anon_777]

Thank you both for the replies, all are good suggestions. I used to write when I was younger so maybe a revisiting of that. And I will look into a book club, I've recently joined a local library so hopefully something there.

[pvroom]

A hobby is a great way to get out of loneliness. Or joining a cause? Are you interested in any issues that perhaps you could volunteer for? I struggle with loneliness A LOT and feel isolated all the time. But I live with my husband and two kiddos so it's more complex that just who you live with. society is a bit isolating at times. You do have to sort of break through the barrier and put yourself out there but it's not easy. Hugs!