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Dealing with infatuation?

Community Member
I've been infatuated with someone for the past 5 years now... I don't even know them that well and haven't seen them in person in 4 years. We recently started messaging randomly (about books and stuff) and we really get along but I recently found out he just had a kid with his girlfriend. I have PTSD from my childhood and I've been alone all my life. This is the only person that really shows that they care and I'm just crushed. I was actually starting to move on before we started messaging as well. I keep myself busy and have a few friends (we aren't close) yet I can't seem to get over them. Honestly this person's offered me more support than the various psychologists+psychiatrist I've been to (bad experiences) and people who have been my friends for years now... One of my friends (who I was starting to get close to) is suicidal and is in the hospital so I'm probably going to completely alone again. I'm thinking about telling them I want to stop talking (I don't know how to though?) so that I can move on before I actually get attached... I don't think I'd be able to handle that. I've been thinking I might have BPD as well but I'm not sure. I don't know what I want to get out of posting this but yeah...
1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

Your feelings are common and therefore normal. So please don’t feel guilty.

It is also normal for professionals to have urges like doctor to patient but of course self control is essential.

I have two suggestions

  1. To seek dating to distract yourself in the chance you find someone else that you have feelings fir
  2. To get a proper diagnosis starting with your GP

I hope you find the strength to move on and the foresight to realise you deserve love and happiness

Repost anytime