Dating again

[bubbles85]

How do you know when your ready to date again?

I'm struggling as I know I still really love my ex but I don't think we will be getting back together (even though contact seems to have started again... long story).

I want to move on and part of me thinks trying to date may help. But I also know how I still feel about my ex so I just don't know what to do, I don't want to just use someone to work out my own feelings. And now days it's all done online which scares me, it was why I had been single for so long before my last relationship.

How have others gone with this?

[jtjt_4862]

Hi bubbles85,

I feel for you, and you're on the right track on taking care of yourself first. Do the things that makes you happy, as well as discover new things too (such as what you're doing now, discovering new shows on Netflix). Exploring your local area might be a good idea too, there might be some hidden gems here and there that you'd be amazed when you find them.

There may be times of grieve, but a friend once told me, we are allowed to feel this way and grieve as long as we need to. It had helped me go thru my first break up with a really wonderful lady. Give yourself some time and space to grieve whenever you need, and take care of yourself.

Jt

[bubbles85]

So I have just found out my ex has resigned from his job, we work together and I'm not sure how I am feeling. He has atleast told me so I don't here through the grapevine. Part of me is relieved as I find it awkward when i have to be near him, but part of me is sad. Once he leaves I may never see him again and that thought just breaks my heart

[jtjt_4862]

Hi bubbles85,

I suppose, on a positive note, you don't have to feel awkward at work now since he has resigned from your company. It's okay to be sad, it's part of the grieving process as we grieve something that we've lost. If you feel like crying out your emotions, it is also a good thing too. Quoting from Shrek, "Better out than in". It will help tremendously with the grieving process. I still remember crying at random times of the day during my two months of grieving, but each time I let tears out, it's as if the feelings that's associated with those memories goes away with my tears. And after awhile, the memories just becomes memories, nothing else, no feelings attached to them anymore.

Take as much time as you need to grieve, surround yourself with friends and family, fill your days with activities that makes you happy. Or discover new activities that you weren't able to discover when you were in a relationship with your ex. It's time for you to shine and love yourself.

Jt

[james1]

Hey bubbles85,

I'm saddened to hear you feel heartbroken that you may never see him again, but thank you for sharing that with us. As Jt said, it's absolutely okay to be sad especially when you did share a life together for a period of time, and you're worried that what remains may also end soon.

It's tough. I hope you can find some comfort in friends and family, and in knowing that you've managed to do well on your own so far. This is another painful period but you can get through it too.

James