FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Announcement Icon
You can win one of three $200 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 30 June 2024 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.

Concerned and don't know what to do

Ami29
Community Member

Hi,

I am so concerned about my friend and unsure what steps to take to get her help. I am not a qualified mental health practitioner but I strongly believe she is in need of help. My friend is in her late 40's with wonderful children. She got out of an abusive relationship more than 10 years ago and immediately started a long distance relationship with a childhood friend who lives in another country.

She has made 2 trips to visit her partner overseas. On her first trip they got engaged and she got pregnant with her 5th child. After her first trip she started having doubts about his fidelity. She encouraged friends of her Fiance to report on his activities, specifically any female companions he may have. She would reward them by providing financial assistance. She then decided that monitoring him through social media was also required. she connected with an individual working at a telephone company in the country her fiance lives who convinced her that they had the capacity & access to an individuals chats and sms messages (regardless of the country they are in). The individual sends transcripts which supposedly prove her suspicion that her husband has been unfaithful. She has accused almost every female friend she has & two of her daughters of trying to interfere in her relationship by trying to break them up, that the friends are secretly chatting to her Fiance and promising to help him migrate.

She is convinced that transcripts being fabricated by her contact are real and factual. I have tried to explain that its not possible to do. Even to explain that its a serious invasion of privacy but all efforts fall on deaf ears. She does not get sufficient sleep because she is awake most nights monitoring her suspects. she keeps saying everyone is a suspect, I trust no one.

Her breakdown and paranoia is going unnoticed. Maybe not unnoticed because i'm concerned. How do I help her to get help. Or is it a case of you cant help someone who doesn't want to be helped.

2 Replies 2

Larlar
Community Member
Hi. I have read your post and totally understand your concern . This behavior is not healthy for her or those around her . By the sound of your post she is quite out of control and this obsession is consuming her life .

It's hard to say what to do to help her .
Best you can do is maybe try to sit down and chat to her about her mental health or try to encourage her to seek help but I feel this may be difficult to do as from your post it sounds like she maybe doesn't see a problem with it .

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful .
All the best

Larlar
Community Member
Hi. I have read your post and totally understand your concern . This behavior is not healthy for her or those around her . By the sound of your post she is quite out of control and this obsession is consuming her life .
%3cbr/%3e
%3cbr/%3eIt%27s hard to say what to do to help her .
%3cbr/%3eBest you can do is maybe try to sit down and chat to her about her mental health or try to encourage her to seek help but I feel this may be difficult to do as from your post it sounds like she maybe doesn%27t see a problem with it .
%3cbr/%3e
%3cbr/%3eSorry I couldn%27t be more helpful .
%3cbr/%3eAll the best