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Can't live with my brother anymore

Community Member

I can't, I really really can't. my brother is a horrible person.

I wont go into too many details about him. but I need a solution for what to do about him. but there doesn't seem to be one.

I wish i could move out. but I can't, I have no money, no job, a medical condition that prevents me from holding down a job, and no friends i can temporarily live with while i try and sort those things out. all my friends have moved to other countries in the past few years. and I have no family members I'd want to live with. since my only choice would be living with my dad, who is just as bad as my brother. plus if i moved out, my mum would be stuck here having to deal with my brother alone. i can't do that to her.

I know him moving out would never work. he'd lose his house or have his landlord evict him or something within a week. and then he'd be back here again and even worse than before.

I don't know what to do. I just wish he didn't exist.

I shouldn't have to put up with someone like him, and neither should my mum.

i can't deal with this anymore.

2 Replies 2

Summer Rose
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Mister E

Welcome to the forum. I am glad you posted because it sounds like you are at the end of your rope and you have come to a kind, caring place of support.

Family relationships can be challenging for all of us, even at the best of times. You are not alone. Solutions for what "to do about your brother" are difficult because I think a lot depends on what he is doing and why.

If you think your brother is behaving badly due to a mental health condition or emotional problems then persuading him to seek professional help would be a good place to start. Maybe your Dad and Mum could help with this. If you think there are inter-personal or family issues to resolve, then trying to move everyone towards family counselling could help. But, if you think your brother is crossing the line into domestic abuse of you and your mother, then I suggest you consult the police and consider a different set of options. I know you worry for your brother but the safety of you and your mother has to be the top priority if this is the case.

All of these solutions may take some time to work through. In the meantime, given you cannot change your brother and you do not view moving out as an option, you may want to consider working on changing the way you respond to him. This is something you can control but it may involve a change in your thinking. As a first step, I would like to suggest that you consider making a double-time appointment to see your GP to discuss the situation.

Please feel free to keep posting if you'd like to share more about what's happening for you and how you are feeling.

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Mr E, welcome

As adults we find it difficult to live with other family members, even non family members. Households all have their quirky activities and routines, whats acceptable and what's not.

Your situations seems like you are trapped. Money is essential in this world in which to make the changes we nee to make, life simply is impossible without it. This trapped feeling might not mean you have an answer to your problem and others like me wont have either. That's reality.

You might be able to seek other more professional counselling services to seek out a reasonable solution.

Alternatively getting work is the answer. Do you have prospect for work, are you attending education? Can others look after your mother to release you from responsibility?

I'm sorry I haven't got any solid answers.

Tony WK