Hi Unknown19
Theborderline has suggested a perspective worth considering. A lot of us do swing between poles, mentally and physically (biologically). I suppose it's when the swing creates significant disorder that BPD is more closely looked at.
In no way whatsoever, at all, even in the slightest way (just to make it completely clear) am I suggesting that Pre-menstral syndrome has anything to do with BPD, just wanting to give a biological example of how extreme poles can appear, without reasoning: If I lied to you and told you that it was a guy experiencing such extreme mood swings (when it was a woman with PMS), and if I said that this person is typically the nicest person in the world but then suddenly they become irrational, self-focused, depressed and incredibly angry to the point of causing great disorder in their life and in the lives of those around them, you might think (without the facts) there's something seriously wrong here. They might not swing back to being their natural happy energetic self for 2 months at a time because they would become so down, given how they'd treated people. They may have a hard time with self forgiveness.
I suppose you'd need to ask the question 'What are the triggers for a sudden and extreme shift between poles?' Could it be that someone is a natural high viber (with a bit of a lack of grounding in the way of sensible decision making)? Could they make bad calls in judgement when they're on a high, which lead them to spend weeks in a state of deep regret? Then they may have an amazing revelation, which leads them back to a high again.
Given that relationships can be seriously challenging, could your bf be ignoring a challenge that needs addressing in the relationship? Does he only really appreciate the highs of the relationship, without facing the challenges that need addressing in the way of constantly reforming a relationship in positive ways? I seriously swing between poles in my marriage. My husband is a relaxed sort of dude with no great desire for excitement. He has little interest in getting to know his full potential. His favourite saying, 'That's just me'. When I'm packed with energy, I'm thoroughly inspirational until I give up in pure frustration. Then I swing to the other extreme with him at times. By the way, he says he definitely wants to change but just can't let go.
Whether it's biology, a lack of self care or others that swing us, the questioning aspect is important.
Take care
