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Brother moved out of home and I did not anticipate I'd be devastated.

Loco23
Community Member

Me and my older brother have been living at home and he just recently moved out to live with his fiancé. When he first told he was moving out, I didn't feel anything straight away but as the hours and days went by I started feeling really really sad. We've never really hanged out as brothers, he really is someone who dedicates all his free time to his fiancé and has little time for anything else.

I can't help but shake the feeling that I won't be seeing much of him anymore... And I hate that. Every time I see his empty room now I feel like crying. My mind seems to be flashing back to memories of me and him in primary school, high school together or kicking a ball in a park when we were kids. As adults, we've never hanged out together and been 'friends' but god damn the feeling that he's my 'big brother' is really strong right now. I know he has to move on and become independent now but I'm sad I'm losing him, I'm angry we can't be kids again.

3 Replies 3

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Loco, I know this can be sad for people, just as it is for you, but still communicate with him, either by phone or text telling him what you've done and what you want to do, even if it's cleaning your room.

Ask him if there is anything you can do to help him with the wedding plans and remember because he's moved out you could begin to share a lot more with them and spending time with them over the phone maybe even more special.

Sibling relationships have a different perspective because they can be life long but are still prone to have some difficulties now and then or disappointments maybe, but the link is always there even though it maybe in a different dimension, and I say this because you have the chance of becoming an auntie/uncle.

Can I suggest you have a talk with your doctor, but concerned about how you are feeling, so if you can please let us know how you going.

Take care.

Geoff.

monkey_magic
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Loco23,

I know the feeling. I'm the eldest of 3 and when my brothers got girlfriends everything changed. One brother moved out and another one interstate. It's ok to grieve for what you've lost.

I really like what Geoff said, that you can still have a relationship with your brother outside of the home.

In my life my brother's and I aren't as close as when we were little but we do still speak over the phone or see each other in person occasionally. Are you still able to speak with or visit your brother?

Life changes as we grow and get older. The family dynamic changes too.

I wish u well and feel free to keep writing how you feel.

MMx

Yeah, you're right. It's just that coming to terms with how life changes we move on. I know it's always been said by a lot of people even whilst growing up. But now it's really happening. It's strange it's the same intense feeling I got when I broke up with my last girlfriend. Same old 'clenching my teeth together if I feel about to cry when I'm on the train' hahaha.

Thanks for sharing your experience too. I hope me and my brother can still maintain a relationship or hopefully even better than what we had before.

I know he hasn't passed away but it's just this is the first time we've lived in different homes since... well I was a baby hahaha.