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Breakup due to Borderline Personality Disorder

Community Member

Hello everyone.

i am new to these forums and I would really appreciate any constructive advice.

my much loved boyfriend broke up with me yesterday due to an extreme emotional response to him leaving me out of a social outing. I know my emotions were unreasonable now, but I didn’t until he pointed it out to me and asked me to get some help. We had not been together very long and so we were still learning about each other’s communication styles. This was our first fight but it was enough for him to break up with me. My heart is breaking and I feel manic. He doesn’t want me contacting him and I am embarrassed to admit that I have tried way too much to get him to talk to me.

I have already been very proactive in getting well since this breakup, have seen my GP and have therapy lined up, am joining a gym and starting a healthier diet. I am doing this for me, but also because I want him to see how much I love him and how committed I am to fixing things and making him happy.

I don’t know what to do. Im scared that I’m going to drive him away... I really want him back.

2 Replies 2

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Emma,

I'm sorry that you are going through this. My partner has left me recently - she has BPD, but refused to get treatment.

What you are going through right now sucks. I have been aware of my partner's condition (yes. I still refer to her as my partner, because I am still committed to her, though she is not to me) and I have been understanding and compassionate. If your boyfriend cannot handle an emotional outburst, it is possible that he will not be the right one for you. I'm so sorry to say that. BPD is a condition that requires a LOT of compassion and understanding. I hope that he is the right one for you - if he is, he will be understanding, and come back. If he doesn't... he isn't the right one for you.

I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear.

mocha delight
Community Member
Hi emmawiththebpd I’m so sorry to hear about this and just know we are all here for you ok🤗