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Breaking up with the one person i thought understood me

Community Member

Hi all,

I am new on here and thought i should post about my current situation.

In the last few months my partner of 6yrs and i have drifted apart quite dramatically. I have always been very "different" to other people i know and am surrounded by - sometimes i just feel like a freak of nature! This is definitely one of those times.

I never really have any true friendships - as people seem to get to know me - and not really like how i am - i am somewhat awkward socially and don't like being used in any way. I am very knowledgeable on lots of health / diet subjects and am asked regularly for help by others - to their dismay i am too forward and honest i think - they don't seem to like my advice / help which is fine with me, but then people seem to drift away.

I have become so accustomed to people "coming and going" from my life that it never surprises me anymore - but never the less it still hurts to know that there isn't really anyone like me ...and so no one truly likes me for who i am worts and all.

I was kind of OK with this feeling for some time as i felt if there was 'one person' (my partner) who could love me for exactly who i am without the need to pretend or moderate myself then i would be ok...Now it feels as though there really is nobody for me in this world - almost as if i belong to another planet or dimension or something...i just don't quite fit.

We had a chat a few days ago (initiated by me) as he seemed so unhappy lately - we were honest and he told me that he would like to stay friends, but once our house sells he would like to go his own way while i go mine. I believe there are a few reasons for this - though all of these were apparent when we were first together so im confused - has he just grown away from me? Or was he trying to like / love who i am all this time and just can't do it?

It seems like just another one who came and is going to leave..but feels alot more hurtful as he is the one person who kind of confirmed for me that im not such a freak. Now i feel like i will be alone all my life and there really is nobody.

I have animals who mean so much to me (my dogs and chickens) because of my experience with people and thus i spend most of my time with them to stay sane and have some connection with other beings on this earth. It helps with the loneliness...but i still know in my self that i just don't fit in anywhere.

I hope that someone may be able to relate and maybe offer advice of some sort??

Thanks all.

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hi there

im in a similar situation where I have had to leave my partner of 6 years because we want different things in our future. I want children and he does not... well he changed his mind and decided he doesn’t want them..

I don’t think you sound strange at all; you sound very logical to me. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being like the people you are around, that just makes you special. So the word you are looking for is special.

one door closes and another opens, some times people just get older and grow apart. Sometimes there isn’t any logical reason other than there time is up with eachother. Time for a new chapter and a even better and more exciting one. I promise.

You will be okay. You will find others. I already feel connected to you through your words. We can be friends! This guy doesn’t make you complete, he was just apart of your story.. You’re the star remember and you can write it however you want it to go

Hi Ellecat,

I think i found your post as you found mine!

Thankyou for your kind words - it's very helpful.

You must be a good judge of character - i am logical to a fault lol.

And yes i think you are right that maybe he has taken me so far and now it's time for us both to go on from here without each other. i would love to chat with you further as you sound like a lovely person to talk with.

I like your motto about it being my story to write however i want it to go...that's very helpful to think of it that way.