Both my girlfriend and I have depression but hers is way worse. She refuses to go to counselling.

[Juff]

Hey guys, I don't really know where to begin so I think I'll just ramble for a bit. So me and my girlfriend (both 16 years old) have been together for 15 months. Things started off really great, but gradually she started neglecting me and my abandonment issues kicked in. It got really bad for me and I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I have been on medication for a couple months now. I've pinpointed the triggers to when things are bad with my girlfriend because my mind just spirals and worries the worst. I've always known my girlfriend to be under alot of pressure from her family and I tried to understand that she didn't have time for me. I never really realised how bad it was. So recently, she told me, she had always been suicidal and self harmed. I have tried to get her to open up before but she really doesn't want to talk about it (and I don't want to push) so I don't know too in depth about her problems. I do know that her family is abusive and I think that's why she doesn't want to go to counselling (in case her parents find out). I got so worried and shocked by her suicide line that I suggested we go talk to the school counsellor, and she said she would break up with me if I did that. I think I'm going to do it anyways, I'm happy for her to hate me if it means she is safe. Right now, I just feel so hopeless and overwhelmed because I don't know what to do. When I go talk to the school, she'll hate me but she's said I was the only thing good in her life. I'm scared she might do something bad to get back at me or if it gets so bad (me telling the school) that she takes her life because of it. I'm just so worried about her and it pains me to see her in pain. I think I just want to talk about it with you guys. All replies welcome 🙂

[Sophie_M]

Hey Juff,
Welcome to the Beyond Blue online forums. This is a safe and non-judgmental space to share your thoughts and feelings so feel free to keep checking in to let us know how you are going.
We wanted to let you know that we have sent you a private response offering you some additional support that you and your girlfriend can use outside the forum. 
Please take care,
Sophie
 
 

[Aaronsis]

Hi Juff

I am so pleased that you have found yourself here and we are here to help you through this time, with some support and somewhere to dump the thoughts and feelings that you are going through, wow, you have so very much on your plate and I can hear how confused, worried and desperate to help your girlfriend and that is so very caring and wonderful of you, I just want to you to be aware of yourself at this time too and ensure that you are ok too.

It is so very brave of you to speak up and I am so pleased that you have, I think that it is a great idea to speak to the school counsellor, the thing is that they have ways of addressing these things in a way that your girlfriend need not know that the concerns have come from you, that will ensure that your trust with your girlfriend is not broken and also gives you some anonymity too. This is alot for you to carry around on your own and I think that it is so very wise to reach out to someone who can help, there are also the wonderful people who are at Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, they are here to support you through this time too and will be able to support you.

I hope that you come back to chat and to let us know how you are getting along.

Big hugs to you

AS

[Juff]

Thank you for taking the time to reply to me. One of my fears was that no one would care or reply. I will definitely emphasise the delicate nature of the situation to the counsellor. Thank you

[Aaronsis]

You have come to a place Juff where we care so very much, about you and how you are feeling and also about your girlfriend too, I really hope she can get some help through this time. You are so very caring and she is so very lucky to have you in her life, I just want to make sure that you are ok too. I wish I could reach out and give you a big hug.

Keep chatting Juff, you are amazing!

AS