Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

Eagles_Supporter Bad text message
  • replies: 1

My mum, she lives in the country and so does my brother, I have lived in the city now for a few years. So mum is having problems working out how to use her iPhone, she ask me to take a look and try to fix an issue with her email. So after that I deci... View more

My mum, she lives in the country and so does my brother, I have lived in the city now for a few years. So mum is having problems working out how to use her iPhone, she ask me to take a look and try to fix an issue with her email. So after that I decided to close down her apps she had open and one of the apps was the text message app as I came across there was this photo of my brother in her text messages so I decided to have a look and under the photo was a message from my brother to mum saying... (Mod note: we've edited this portion of the post for offensive language) Now mum doesn't know any other people in the city a part from us that would be heading away for that weekend. Do I approached mum and ask her about that message and wether her was talking about us? I'm feeling very hurt at the moment wondering wether our family has been stabbed in the back for all these years

Alaska81 So alone
  • replies: 3

Help me:( I'm at a point in my life where I feel completely depleted. I find it so hard to see the positive side of anything.from the outside people would think I have the perfect life. I have a great partner for 17years 4 beautiful kids and a great ... View more

Help me:( I'm at a point in my life where I feel completely depleted. I find it so hard to see the positive side of anything.from the outside people would think I have the perfect life. I have a great partner for 17years 4 beautiful kids and a great business. But inside I'm so alone. I have no social network because I've thrown myself into a family life at the age of 18. Right now I just want to crawl away somewhere and not be found but feel so guilty if I do because I know my family needs me.

GreatDawn Is this marriage?
  • replies: 10

Hi, I have been married with this woman for over 10yrs. It was never great for some reason and is now taking me into deep depression. In my view she has always been very selfish and egocentric. She doesn't support anything I do and gets to be the vic... View more

Hi, I have been married with this woman for over 10yrs. It was never great for some reason and is now taking me into deep depression. In my view she has always been very selfish and egocentric. She doesn't support anything I do and gets to be the victim. I'm a very reasonable man, ie I can be in the middle of our biggest fight but still will never say anything offensive, a swear word and will always give space for her to talk without interrupting her. She, however, is very aggressive and hard to argue with. She is the kind of person that if I drop a glass of water it is my fault for not paying attention but if she does, it is my fault for leaving the glass where she could hit it. The list of examples can go on and on. She has no considersrion for my problems and things i have to deal with and always makes her problems the priority number one (and only). At the end she is the one who gets upset and waits for me to come to her to make amends. And I can't think of one single time she ever said sorry or acknowledge the guilt. In average, our marriage are 2-3 very good weeks followed by 2-3 very bad weeks. We do have, however, two most beautiful kids together. She very often looses her (very short) patience with them and scream to them or don't treat them right. She is incapable of teaching them anything good. She did make very clear that she really doesn't like kids (in general), and she would much rather lI've without them. However, she does love our kids very much and anytime she spends away from them she misses them big time. She can be very nice with them many times (for short period before they start testing her patience). I'm pretty sure that if we were to break up I would get the kids. However I don't know if I am prepared to have my kids suffering due to a break up. They are very young still and I only think I should wait until they grow a bit and understand things better before doing anything. But every week this feeling I have eats me from inside more and more. I know she loves me (she would go crazy if I break up with her). But for some reason she sees me more like an enemy than a partner. And I always wished my wife would be my best friend. Instead what I have is someone whom I can't share anything. Sorry for the long post. But this is just the tip. Not sure what to do.

Morning_sunshine Fiancée is unsure about having a child
  • replies: 8

My boyfriend of two years and fiancée told me this week that he is not one hundred percent sure about wanting to have kids with me. We are due to be married next year and until two weeks ago he wanted to have a child with me. We have been having a fe... View more

My boyfriend of two years and fiancée told me this week that he is not one hundred percent sure about wanting to have kids with me. We are due to be married next year and until two weeks ago he wanted to have a child with me. We have been having a few months where we have been out of sync; he has been very stressed with work and I've been quite sensitive to his stress. He already has a daughter to a previous partner and now says he is scared to have a baby as at the moment he doesn't feel our relationship is stable enough and he doesn't want to end up in the same situation again...He says he is just being honest with how he is feeling right now and said once we are married and our relationship is looking healthy again, we should definitely have a baby...I feel a little in limbo.. what if we marry and then he decides he doesn't want a baby?.. I know nothing is ever set in stone but I felt excited to marry him not only because he is my love, but also because we were on the same page with respect to future needs (I.e kids)... I feel lost and don't know what to do...

Ally9393 Relationship or friendship. How I wish I can turn back time..
  • replies: 1

I'm currently an international university student in Aus, in my 2nd yr of studies. Last yr when I first came and settled down, I managed to have a group of friends whom I mix with. In the group, theres 3 guys and 1 girl. I was closer to this guy, let... View more

I'm currently an international university student in Aus, in my 2nd yr of studies. Last yr when I first came and settled down, I managed to have a group of friends whom I mix with. In the group, theres 3 guys and 1 girl. I was closer to this guy, lets name him B. We always do assignments together as group. However, sooner later I started to realise he's after me ,i was trying to not be too close to him. At the same time another guy was also after me. Let's name him A. Though I'm not as close to A as B, I was more attracted to A. I tend to ask him a lot more during group works or have small talks with him. However it was at those session, I kind of realised that the other two wasn't really comfortable doing work, or maybe even unhappy or annoyed. At that time I wasn't sure why, I thought I might be thinking too much. So, sooner later, me and A got together. It was quite fast, we met for < 1/2 yr. I obviously didn't inform anyone , not B either. I'm not sure if I should. it'll be awkward and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be courteous in that sense. So not long after we got together, I realised one day that B's behaviour and attitude towards me changed in a suden. I felt sth wasn't right. We met up, talked through it. That's when I realised he knew we were together.

Green27 Unattractive
  • replies: 5

Have always considered myself maybe a bit above average in looks department (as per society's standard) and A+ personality wise but after years of zero attention must come to the conclusion that I am in fact unattractive. Even googled average looking... View more

Have always considered myself maybe a bit above average in looks department (as per society's standard) and A+ personality wise but after years of zero attention must come to the conclusion that I am in fact unattractive. Even googled average looking people lol and must admit they look better than me, unfortunate but true (my opinion). Is real beauty on the inside, is that what really counts? Absolutely, but my life experience tells me that people don't realise that until they're much older, which isn't really all that useful to me at current age. Guess what I'm asking is a) how do I reconcile being perceived as less than what I feel I am and b) where are all the people that really care, can't find them. Reading this back to myself I sound like a massive douche lol, just trying to keep things short.

Brokengrl Tough time
  • replies: 26

I've had a pretty rough 6 months. I met a guy through a dating website. We immediately clicked, almost like we had known each other our whole lives. He's an educated man. Had separated from his wife several months prior to our meeting. He told me he ... View more

I've had a pretty rough 6 months. I met a guy through a dating website. We immediately clicked, almost like we had known each other our whole lives. He's an educated man. Had separated from his wife several months prior to our meeting. He told me he had been unhappy in the marriage for a long time, sleeping in separate rooms for a number of years, tried councelling unsuccessfully, so he made the decision to separate, not what his wife wanted. So we started dating. We had an excellent open relationship. Both of us have a history of depression. And we helped each other with that. I did have an insecurity, fearing he would go back to his wife, but he constantly reassured me that was never going to happen because he had been too unhappy with her for too long. He told me he loved me and never felt love like this before. I was apprehensive about telling him I loved him too because of my insecurity, but I did in fact love him, on a level I had never experienced. We decided that for our relationship to move forward, it was time for him to be clear with his wife that he was moving on with someone. Well. After talking with her, he visited me and immediately broke up with me. He walked away from me. Blocked my phone number. Deleted Facebook. Blocked my emails. Completely disappeared from my life in the matter of an hour. To say I was completely blind sided was an understatement. And it broke my heart in a big way. ( to complicate matters his relationship with his wife did involve children). I have been left frustrated with no answers and no closure. I became depressed. Shortly after this I unexpectedly lost a very close friend. And this exacerbated my depression. I do see a psych. But I struggle daily with sadness, it's almost all consuming. Functioning at work takes every ounce of energy I have. I guess I would love some advice on how to let go of the man I love. My brain knows he is gone and the relationship is over, but every day my heart hopes he will come back. I don't want to hope anymore. So if anyone could offer any advice on how to stop hoping, I would be forever grateful. I would love to feel some relief from the sadness, just for one day.

plasticinehouse Having so much trouble moving on from a guy
  • replies: 1

Hes in my industry & good mates with my boss. Party 1: I was doing my own thing, didnt rly talk to him. Later in the night, he made a comment about my attitude that showed he had noticed me. It was a big deal cause most ppl were asking if I was okay ... View more

Hes in my industry & good mates with my boss. Party 1: I was doing my own thing, didnt rly talk to him. Later in the night, he made a comment about my attitude that showed he had noticed me. It was a big deal cause most ppl were asking if I was okay (for being quiet). Yet what he said showed he didnt see it that way? Later he told me I was pretty. I cant help thinking did he only notice me cause I was so happy doing my own thing? Its like on that night i DID know my self worth. But it all went out the window Party 2: He was all flirty that night. There was a lil goodbye where I felt chemistry, then found out he told my workmate about it. He also came in my office to drop something off & asked where I was (I wasnt in that day). Party 3: My boss told me he had told him he thought I was a bit of a babe. We ended up hooking up that night. I said Id never been on a motorbike & he was like “ill take u on mine!” then he said it again as he was saying goodbye. I would NEVER imply hanging out if I didnt want to? But 2 weeks went & no contact. Next times I saw him I felt like I could amp it up + be flirty but got nothing back. Makesme feel so dumb. The next time I ignored him a bit & it got me some attention, but still Im so embarrassed. Somewhere in there i stupidly asked "will u rly take me on ur bike?" He said yes (& i knew i rly shouldnt have) & I texted him. first he replied after 2 days, I didnt see it allday & replied but then nothing. I feel SO dumb. Thing is, hes leaving the country. He told me the night we hooked up. My boss also keeps telling me hes not over his ex. THING IS i would be able to accept those things if it wasnt for the fact there was another girl ALL along. My worst nightmare. It wasnt just that he was leaving. Hes all over her insta hangs out with her. Shes getting everything I thought was gonna happen with me:( He met her before me & still said those things & hinted, i thought i was safe. It would have felt great if he was treating me that way despite leaving Its flared up all my insecurities. Theres always someone better. He was supposed be gone, but was at an event we were throwing this weekend. He came up said hi & wasnt rude. But he didnt talk to me, not like before. But i was dumb i kept waiting for a moment he might. So i missed my chance to ask one thing for ‘closure.’ Hes gone for real now. I just wanted to ask him why he said those things & hint so much. Its taking everything not to text & ask, Im not going to be THAT girl

miyone Depressed after ex cut me off
  • replies: 5

I really need help and advise. I was in this relationship. It's been patchy for a while, but sometime 3 months ago, we had a minor row. He blocked me off then, and have never heard from him. I tried to reach him for weeks, but i never got any respons... View more

I really need help and advise. I was in this relationship. It's been patchy for a while, but sometime 3 months ago, we had a minor row. He blocked me off then, and have never heard from him. I tried to reach him for weeks, but i never got any response. This manner of ending it has got me so depressed. He's ignored me on purpose. After crying for weeks, I finally did no contact to focus on myself. My friends have been helping me out and I've checked a few times with a counsellor. However, I'm still having a hard time. I took some time off to help me recover, but I'm afraid the depression will again show now that I'm back. I sent him an email this week (it's been 2 months) trying to meet and talk things out. I know and I hope this will help me come to terms with the situation so I wrote him this nice email, but still no word from him. I am so close to telling him I'm depressed and talking this out will really help me. I'm not sure it's a good idea, but I don't know what else to do. This has already affected my life before, and now I am back to crying every night. I've already tried all means to get over him, but I know in myself that talking to him / fixing this will be my only way out of this mess. Can i tell him I am depressed and that I need his help?

Grumpy_Cat Guilt issues
  • replies: 3

Hi, Ive been with my partner since I was 18. I'm now 27. I have struggled with alcohol and drug abuse for many years and have only gotten clean in the last 8 months. In this time I have turned my life around and with a clear head I am able to see all... View more

Hi, Ive been with my partner since I was 18. I'm now 27. I have struggled with alcohol and drug abuse for many years and have only gotten clean in the last 8 months. In this time I have turned my life around and with a clear head I am able to see all the lies I have told over the years. I slept with a woman when I was 21 and didnt tell my partner untill last year. We are working through it and I also told her about many of the lies over the years. It has been a rough year for us but I am trying to give us the best chance at working. I have told her as much as I can and what I think are the things she needs to know, and I cant relive the past 7 years of everything I did wrong. But I cant break free of feeling so down and guilty. I feel so low for something that I said to a friend when I first started dating her. We were drunk and having a huge fight and I told my friend i wish she had the personality of my ex girlfriend. This was something I said after a few months dating her and it is nothing to what i think now. I think she is the greatest person in this world, but I cant escape this feeling of betrayal which puts me in such a dark place. I really don't know how to move past these feelings and stop associating myself with the person I used to be. I have made huge changes in my life lately and I feel like if I can get past these feelings I would really be able to turn my life around.