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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Summerchild But what about me?
  • replies: 6

My partner recently recognised he has anxiety/depression. I feel sad for him, that he struggles with this, and I desperately want to help him. We have good days and bad days and he still functions in every day life, goes to work, does social things i... View more

My partner recently recognised he has anxiety/depression. I feel sad for him, that he struggles with this, and I desperately want to help him. We have good days and bad days and he still functions in every day life, goes to work, does social things in the weekend. He isn't a talker and likes to figure things out for himself. He isn't ready for professional help yet.. he wants to try himself first, by doing lots of research, seeing what the pharmacy has to offer that's available without prescriptions. Sometimes he shuts down. Needs alone time, gets irritated by small things, doesn't communicate or outright gets angry with me. And even though I know this is depression it hurts. Because I'm always on the receiving end. And selfishly I think; what about me? What about my feelings? I don't say that to him but I think it... consider how I feel. Consider how hard it is to just sit by, knowing things you want to try are not going to work. How lonely I can feel when he isolates himself. What effect his behaviour has on me. How unfair it is he gets angry with me for just trying to help him. How about my feelings that are getting hurt? I'm not completely sure what I want with this topic. I know I can't say this, because my feelings are probably very low on his priority list plus it's not him but depression. I shouldn't take it so personally.. but I find that very hard to cope with. I'm a talker. I like to talk about things and getting it out there. And sometimes we do and we have such a good talk and we take 2 steps forward.. and the next day we go 3 steps back. It would be good reading experiences of other people in the non-depression position or ways to maybe communicate in a manner that doesn't cause a 3 day fight, that I have a hard time coping as well.

ST20050775 I cant tell this to anyone
  • replies: 8

Hi, This is my first post on here so a bit nervous of how it will go down. Basically I am a closet gay guy, 21. I am currently staying with a family who I had never met prior to staying with them. I get along really well with one of their sons and de... View more

Hi, This is my first post on here so a bit nervous of how it will go down. Basically I am a closet gay guy, 21. I am currently staying with a family who I had never met prior to staying with them. I get along really well with one of their sons and developed some strong feelings for him. I came home one night drunk and ended up having sexual relations with him. This surprised me because i had always thought i would never let the urgers get the better of me. We carried this on for a few weeks in secret which was some of the best few weeks of my life. One day he began to regret doing it because he felt guilty, and like myself didn't like the fact he was gay. Now and again we would do things together but the feelings I got from him were more bad than good when it was us 2 alone together. I assume because he still fancies me but doesn't want to fancy me, but i didnt find this out until a few month's after because he doesn't like talking about it. For me I find it easy not to be gay when im with the lads and he said the same. We both still have attraction to women. But as this went on I began to fall for him which scared me because I didn't want to fall in love with a guy, and I also didn't know if he felt the same. The other night I slept with a woman, and now he wants nothing to do with me. He says he doesn't care anymore which really hurts because I still love him. I regretted doing it before it even happened. But i felt i had to to keep up the persona of being straight. I thought he would understand because he always saif he'd be jealous but wouldn't mind if I slept with a woman. I still have to love another month with him and his family and I am now tearing myself up inside at the fact that he hates me for what I've done, and won't talk to me about it. I can't talk to anyone but him about it because its all secret. So I guess what I would like to know is am I a cheater and a bad person for doing what I did? And what can I do to try and get him back and cope with everything? because I would honestly consider coming out to the world if I was with him because i love him that much. Thanks ST

new_beginning So this is my life now?
  • replies: 6

No job, no friends, no hope for a better future. Ive always tried to be a good person, help those who've need it and yet i end up here. When will i ever get to be happy? Or is life just going through the motions until i die? Sure feels like it atm. View more

No job, no friends, no hope for a better future. Ive always tried to be a good person, help those who've need it and yet i end up here. When will i ever get to be happy? Or is life just going through the motions until i die? Sure feels like it atm.

To_be_FREE Why cant I talk about it?
  • replies: 3

I have been reading your amazing posts. I am in awe of how so many of you talk to your loved ones about this. My family and friends have no idea what I go through. Ive never gone into it with them. I just cant. I know they wont understand because the... View more

I have been reading your amazing posts. I am in awe of how so many of you talk to your loved ones about this. My family and friends have no idea what I go through. Ive never gone into it with them. I just cant. I know they wont understand because they are 'suck it up' kind of people. I am so desperately lonely about not being able to discuss these matters. I dont really have friends just mates and colleagues. Even with my husband, he gets so frustrated with me and its lonely. I have never been able to say, 'hey today is hard please be kind'. I just get the eye rolling and whatevers. So I keep smiling but my heart is breaking. I think it is so great that so many of you guys have a support network around you. So great.

Barbie_Boo My daughter's situation is causing me a lot of angst
  • replies: 2

I have suffered anxiety on and off for years and have usually managed with medication which after around 12 months go off and seem to manage okay. This time I am not. My daughter and her partner have separated and she has come home with her three bea... View more

I have suffered anxiety on and off for years and have usually managed with medication which after around 12 months go off and seem to manage okay. This time I am not. My daughter and her partner have separated and she has come home with her three beautiful children. She is quite young and has been in a controlling relationship for over ten years. She has now rediscovered herself and although she loves her kids and wants custody (family law) says 50% each, she is not doing as I think she should which is causing me a lot of angst. She has been separated for 6 weeks. I do believe it is a phase but it is causing me a lot of worry, I am overthinking things, she will lose her children, all sorts of scenarios. How do I switch off?

Sam89 Depression marriage breakup
  • replies: 2

Hi, im not sure what to do. 6 months ago my husband broke up with me. To date I have got no explanation from him the most I got was "i cant explain, i feel trapped". After a few sessions of counselling it came out he had depression. The online test c... View more

Hi, im not sure what to do. 6 months ago my husband broke up with me. To date I have got no explanation from him the most I got was "i cant explain, i feel trapped". After a few sessions of counselling it came out he had depression. The online test came up severe. 3 months down the track he sought help from a gp (after a few breakdowns and not being allowed to work until he'd seen someone). 2 months it took for his appointment with the phycologist. Hes had 1 appointment there. He wont tell me much but talks to me more then his family ect about it. He admitted I saved his life as he had a breakdown and tried to hide it but I saw through and went to his house. He loves alone now (some nights our son stays there). Sometimes he likes me around others he pushes me away. He has thought about killing himself quite a few times now. It's just so emotional on me too. Do i stay around with hope? Or do I move on? I'm worried about hurting him but also need to protect myself. We still see each other quite often. He says he's happy to try (but wont tell anyone besides me that) but also says he cant see it working. Has anyone else been in this situation and had it work out?

Konnor Relationship advice
  • replies: 8

Recently noticed a change in my partner about 3 weeks ago, she has become angry, stressed, anxious and unhappy. I feel as if certain events in her life within the past month has become to much and is struggling to deal with it aswell as an unhealthy ... View more

Recently noticed a change in my partner about 3 weeks ago, she has become angry, stressed, anxious and unhappy. I feel as if certain events in her life within the past month has become to much and is struggling to deal with it aswell as an unhealthy relationship prior to us could be affecting. Says that she hates everyone and doesnt want to see anyone including myself and needs space and I completely understand that and i have told her im happy to give space and support her through this but she is insisting that she wants no help and to do this on her own. Which is causing her to be confused about what to do with our relationship, whether to go on a break she says she doesnt want to just throw it away but doesn't know what to do.I have suggested getting some professional help also. I don't want to pressure her but I feel like I am by just asking if shes ok. Im happy to give her all the space she needs and wants but im no just going to walk away she means alot to me. I understand that she's going through some tough times. I have been through alot of anxiety and depression and anger myself and at the time I wanted no one to help me either but after coming out the other side I really wish I had reached out to people close to me. What can I do to help?

sparkvark Don't really want relationships but needing some sort of connection
  • replies: 26

As per thread title. I'm basically a loner, and don't like relying on other people for things or having them involved in personal things that I'm doing. Sometimes I feel lonely and like I need a meaningful connection or help to deal with things or ev... View more

As per thread title. I'm basically a loner, and don't like relying on other people for things or having them involved in personal things that I'm doing. Sometimes I feel lonely and like I need a meaningful connection or help to deal with things or even get motivated. And sometimes I feel like every interaction is an imposition, that people are willfully misunderstanding me and changing topics in a way that shuts down anything I wanted to say, that I'm so disconnected from everyone, that an act of violence could either reconnect or sever the connection altogether. Today I'm in between both of those feelings.

Lymbo Love is not enough
  • replies: 2

I was involved with a narcissist partner for 3 years. I pulled away last Tuesday as I realised that this person has no respect for my life, for my world, for my needs and never there to bat in my corner. For years it's been about them. I boxed in her... View more

I was involved with a narcissist partner for 3 years. I pulled away last Tuesday as I realised that this person has no respect for my life, for my world, for my needs and never there to bat in my corner. For years it's been about them. I boxed in her corner 24/7 . What kills me the most is I have been there for her all the way. I was there in her darkest hours I was there to wipe her tears I was there when everyone wasn't I was there to pull her out of shit I was there to hold her I was there to find where her kids lived I was there to make sure she had petrol money u name it im torn between love and still believing there is good in her

Lachlan88 Husband trying to help his Wife
  • replies: 28

Hello I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I'll start anyway. I believe my wife is starting to suffer from depression, she has a history of it when she was younger and plus her family has too. For the past week she hasnt gone to w... View more

Hello I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but I'll start anyway. I believe my wife is starting to suffer from depression, she has a history of it when she was younger and plus her family has too. For the past week she hasnt gone to work and has not stopped watching Netflix until she literally falls asleep. Now this is a woman who is career minded and loves her job and she's damn good at it! But recently she's has been stressed out by trying to achieve a promotion to climb the ladder and her workload has been extreme. I've seen how hard she's worked and how much her employers have taken her for granted. We have also been recovering financially from our wedding last year and it has been tough money wise but we all work together to make things work but also the stress of childcare on us has been massive with those costs. Plus our two year old son is he energizer bunny! I dont know what to do. She's refusing to talk to anyone at home, I thought if I waited a week and then approached her to ask what's happening she might open up but she explodes and tells me that she just wants to be left alone. She's ignoring our son who wants nothing more to be with his mum but all she is does is sit and watch to show after to show. I think this is how she is escaping what's happening but I'm scared she going loose everything if this continues. I love her a lot and I just want to help her. If that means we have to see someone for her to talk to then I'm onboard with that but I think she knows something is wrong but doesn't want to face it. I'll do whatever she wants me to do to help but I don't how to help her if she's refusing to talk. what can I do to help? Am I doing the wrong things or are there steps I can take to help her? Thankyou lachlan