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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Guest_10219 Help! What do I do?
  • replies: 7

G’day all. Just found this forum and need help. My son is 19. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder and a heavy marijuana user. He’s a very smart kid academically and studying law but he has a volatile temper which unfortunately I think I passed on to him.... View more

G’day all. Just found this forum and need help. My son is 19. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder and a heavy marijuana user. He’s a very smart kid academically and studying law but he has a volatile temper which unfortunately I think I passed on to him. His mental health has been and is the driving influence on our family. When he’s home (he has begun a degree and lives on campus in another town) we walk around on egg shells. If we ask him to do anything for us or mention something we have issue with he explodes. This puts a massive strain on the relationship between my wife and I. Our 23 year old daughter won’t come home if he is there. I find myself resenting him for that. But then, he idolised her when he was a little boy and she treated him and continues to treat him like garbage. Who knows how that influenced his mind? He had recently applied for funding to the Uni for some program he wanted to start where people sit around by candlelight discussing law cases. He had been up for 30 hours and it was the rantings of a lunatic. Now he’s working on a YouTube page. Ditto. Last night it came to a head. When asked to assist with kitchen chores after dinner last night he exploded and it eventually became physical. I didn’t cover myself in glory and probably started it by grabbing him but I was at my wit’s end. I had had enough of him screaming at us. My son has held us to ransom for over 10 years. Our house is sad and morose and in fear when he is home. I don’t sleep when he’s home. My wife is constantly in tears. I am currently sitting on the side of the road with a beer and don’t want to go home. I have had my mental health issues before. Depression, anxiety and insomnia. But I have my strategies. Just not in relation to my son. I don’t know what to do. Help! Steve

Djay25 Gambling addiction
  • replies: 1

I have recently just told my partner I have a gambling addiction. This is the second time I have had to tell him in the past three years. The first time I got loans out, his mum helped me with money to pay off the loans. I lasted three years nearly w... View more

I have recently just told my partner I have a gambling addiction. This is the second time I have had to tell him in the past three years. The first time I got loans out, his mum helped me with money to pay off the loans. I lasted three years nearly without gambling. Then we would play a bit together in the last year and a bit, I promised I wouldn’t gamble without him. Which we didn’t do often together. Then I got bored one day and started gambling by my self. It started off okay, I would put some in and if I lost I would just leave it. Then it didn’t take long from there to get bad again. I wasted most of my inheritance on gambling, got loans out to gamble with but lost it all. The first time I told him, he was angry but we got through it. This time I’m not to sure. I have betrayed his trust, I said I would never get loans out again, I’ve lost what my Nan and pop worked hard for that they gave me when they died. He has told his mum, which breaks my heart, I’m now going to be hated by his whole family. He has sort of come around, he is taking full control of my finances (which I agree on) I’ve promised I will change, I will speak to someone (therapist) is there anyway of changing this around? Will I gain his trust back? His mums trust back? Even though he said she just let him vent and she didn’t say anything. How do I go about this? I’m so lost. This is the person I am. I’m not an untrustworthy person, I don’t lie. I have become everything I didn’t want to become. I feel like just ending it all.

DeutzFahr Girlfriend of 6 years wants a break or breakup
  • replies: 1

My partner of 7 years has left me. I feel empty inside and I know it’s my fault, I took her for granted and can’t express how I feel.We have a beautiful dog together that I don’t want to loose as she is one of my closest friends.I worried about mysel... View more

My partner of 7 years has left me. I feel empty inside and I know it’s my fault, I took her for granted and can’t express how I feel.We have a beautiful dog together that I don’t want to loose as she is one of my closest friends.I worried about myself as I don’t have many close friends. I was going to propose to her 2 months ago and travel to Europe.I’m currently in the denial stage as it hasn’t sunk in that I’m losing my best friend.

Caughtbetween Stuck in a loop
  • replies: 3

hi kind people im writing this down to help find a way through a real pickle ive found my life to be in.Im stuck and dont know how to move forward. I have a wonderful family 2 kids and a loving wife. But Im no longer in love with my wife and being ho... View more

hi kind people im writing this down to help find a way through a real pickle ive found my life to be in.Im stuck and dont know how to move forward. I have a wonderful family 2 kids and a loving wife. But Im no longer in love with my wife and being honest with myself I feel I married the wrong person. I did fall in love and we've had a loving marriage for 15 years but thes past 5 years its pretty much neen that Im just being a support system and income earner and provider for my family . I dont want to leave as it would devastate my kids and wife. However there is no meaning in the daily grind or future that i can look forward to with any real honest. It scares the crap out of me to be at this stage of life and facing into the abyss . Its also been a sexless marriage for many years where im always the one to initiate any intimacy. Im faithful have never cheated I dont drink, party, hang out with mates. im a devoted family guy that likes to be home with my family..but my marriage just seems so empty. Would like to hear of anyone else in this situation and what your doing to work through it. thanks for reading this far. T

SleeplessinSA Teen son left blames me for everything
  • replies: 4

My nearly 18yo son, whilst we were travelling, just left with his dad. A letter, saying he needs to go. His dad and I separated just after he was born, due to being physically abused by his dad before he was born. I left few weeks after. It's been a ... View more

My nearly 18yo son, whilst we were travelling, just left with his dad. A letter, saying he needs to go. His dad and I separated just after he was born, due to being physically abused by his dad before he was born. I left few weeks after. It's been a rollercoaster ride of abuse verbal, stalking, trying to run me over, putting sand in my fuel tank...etc etc When my son was 14, he came to me and said he didn't want to see his dad. His dad took him to a party and wouldn't leave, so told him to sit in the car whilst he partied. Hours went by and his dad drove home drunk with him in the car. His dad previously lost his licence for life for drink driving and was on drugs. I took him to a physiologist to talk about what was happening and his feelings. She stated in family court, that my son see his dad if he chooses. Which family court ordered. Now 4 years down the track, the last two years being hard as I got really sick and he looked after me. He now blames me for not seeing his dad. For home schooling him, even though at the time it was what we wanted and enjoyed doing up until the last year. For not letting him have a normal childhood, he feels he missed out. This all, feels like it's coming out of his dad's mouth, not his. He says his been pretending to be happy, that he always did what I wanted. Even though I always made a point of saying we make decisions together..we are a team. He says, he doesn't like where his life is going with me. So choose to contact his dad and leave. I feel so heart broken, sad, angry because I did my best, miss him so much. Lost. Broken. I have goals and dreams I try to focus on, but my heart won't let me move on. He doesn't talk to me. His dad always said, I will take him away from you...he has done his promise. Part of me wants to contact my son and the other part says give it time, he will see how his dad is again. Just hard, I don't know how to move forward. I have no family. My friends have their own issues. Trying to stay positive..

RichoC Desperate and at the end
  • replies: 1

Hello,Well, this is unexciting and miserable.My wife has started a pretend we're separated routine with me.Won't sleep next to me, makes excuses why. All of which can be managed and fixed.It feels like she wants to end it all with me because of my fa... View more

Hello,Well, this is unexciting and miserable.My wife has started a pretend we're separated routine with me.Won't sleep next to me, makes excuses why. All of which can be managed and fixed.It feels like she wants to end it all with me because of my failed behaviour.Apparently, I have ADHD, anxiety and I mouth off, which is terrible for her.Breaks my heart.I'm doing everything I know and have been taught to be calm and quiet now.But still avoids me so badly.This hurts me a lot.I keep asking if she wants to end it.She won't because she knows how much she'll lose.It just kills me.I'm going to see someone about my mental health asap and do whatever they say.Begging her to come back to me and work on us.All seems hopeless.I'm on the edge of breaking, lost my job last week through no fault of my own, just bad people doing bad things, illegally.I can't keep this up.I've begged her to try more and be with me and she'll see it's ok.Anyway at my wits end

Anon6 Have I made a mistake ending my relationship?
  • replies: 2

I very recently chose to end my relationship of 6 months with my partner both in our mid 20’s.i had been feeling like I was very distanced and every little thing was starting to give me the ick.some key things im wanting to find someone who has the s... View more

I very recently chose to end my relationship of 6 months with my partner both in our mid 20’s.i had been feeling like I was very distanced and every little thing was starting to give me the ick.some key things im wanting to find someone who has the same life goals as me such as big travel plans and family plans. I told him these were some of my main concerns and he assured me he does want kids although has seemed okay with the idea of not having kids or seeming like he would be very strict and not allow them to be fussy which I don’t agree with completely.he also barely spends time with me and I have wanted to spend every moment together but held back so he didn’t find me pushy but barely twice a week for only a few hours is not enough for me I like quality time.he seemed upset and annoyed at himself as I think I’ve been the safest relationship he has had and told me not to feel guilty and he doesn’t hate me and seemed like he wanted to work on it but I said I had checked out of the relationship due to lots of my needs not being met.im now questioning if I was too impulsive and should have given him more time to work on these things although lots have been discussed over our relationship and I didn’t want to get stuck unhappy like my last one for 3 years which ended 4”3 years ago also

Goblin Addiction to pornography ruining my life
  • replies: 1

This is my first post here but I'm desperate for some help. I have been addicted to porn for the longest time and it's really affecting me to the point where it is ruining my relationship with my partner. I have been constantly lying to her about my ... View more

This is my first post here but I'm desperate for some help. I have been addicted to porn for the longest time and it's really affecting me to the point where it is ruining my relationship with my partner. I have been constantly lying to her about my addiction out of shame and she has caught me out in those lies too many times to count. It's gotten so bad to the Point that when she caught me out iv had such a strong emotional response from being found out that I struck her when she was pregnant I am so ashamed of myself and the fact that no matter how hard I try I have slipped back into it again and again I just want to not have this in my life anymore and to hurt my partner over and over again I have had way more chances then I deserve and I keep ruining it. I want to get therapy for this addiction to prove that I want to get better but I cannot financially afford it right now I feel so stuck and it feels like nothing I do is ever going to be enough to repair the damage that I have done. I don't want to be like this and I don't want to hurt anyone. Had anyone else gone through this that can help me because I feel so helpless. I keep thinking that I'm doing okay but then it just happens again and I go back to porn. Please someone help

_Gigi_ Bringing up serious topics
  • replies: 3

I've been formally diagnosed with depression, but haven't told anyone. I'm not sure I can hide it much longer though, without being figured out. How do you tell family that you have depression? Serious discussions make me super uncomfortable, and I'm... View more

I've been formally diagnosed with depression, but haven't told anyone. I'm not sure I can hide it much longer though, without being figured out. How do you tell family that you have depression? Serious discussions make me super uncomfortable, and I'm not sure they would take it well either. How do I broach the subject?

Joshie Compulsively watching porn and partner is fed up!!
  • replies: 1

I'm a 34yo in a 3 year relationship with my partner and we have an 11 month old daughter and I've compulsively and repeatedly hurt my partner by watching porn and being shady and sneaky behind her back. I haven't cheated and don't intend on cheat, bu... View more

I'm a 34yo in a 3 year relationship with my partner and we have an 11 month old daughter and I've compulsively and repeatedly hurt my partner by watching porn and being shady and sneaky behind her back. I haven't cheated and don't intend on cheat, but she says it's a slippery slope. I love this girl with all my heart but, I can't seem to break these self-sabotaging behaviours. Is there any thing I can do to receive the right help I need?

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