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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Guest_48945486 Constant Validation
  • replies: 2

My partner tells me I don't tell her i'm proud of her enough, that I should tell her i'm proud of her because she cleaned the house, or did the washing.She tells me I don't believe in her because she only every knows when I'm angry or upset about som... View more

My partner tells me I don't tell her i'm proud of her enough, that I should tell her i'm proud of her because she cleaned the house, or did the washing.She tells me I don't believe in her because she only every knows when I'm angry or upset about something. I don't praise her enough, I don't cry to her and don't seek validation from her myself. I don't know if she's being unhealthy in her expectations, or if I'm unhealthy because I'm content and don't feel the need to unpack every emotion throughout my day. Emotions are just a party of life and I don't feel the need to state every emotion with a hundred words. I share my moments of joy, we laugh, we have fun together, I share about my work days and ask about hers. But that doesn't seem to be enough.She wants for nothing, I pay for everything, she goes out with friends etc and has her social life outsider of me. She works 20 hours a week to my 40, so she gay plenty of time to do housework etc, and I still help out, I cook, I clean, I keep things tidy to make life easier on both of us.I'm lost, I don't think I should have to constantly validate her nor unpack every feeling I have. I know it's easier for me to grump and be frustrated when something isn't done that I feel isn't okay, like not changing a toilet roll, but I don't yell or scream, I simply sigh and fix it myself.I dunno, I dunno what healthy expectations of my emotions are. What is reasonable for her to ask if me?

Krystle R Loneliness bites
  • replies: 3

Feeling alone is the worst. Son (20) has mental issue's, dad no longer in the picture (doesn’t want to be), I can’t talk to sister about it and I have no other family. My best friend is good to talk to but she has her own family issues. So hard to ma... View more

Feeling alone is the worst. Son (20) has mental issue's, dad no longer in the picture (doesn’t want to be), I can’t talk to sister about it and I have no other family. My best friend is good to talk to but she has her own family issues. So hard to make friends in small town. I’m not doing so well being by myself, as my son lives in his room. I’m so sad and feel really alone.

Unknown1 My husband has just come out as Bisexual
  • replies: 6

I have been with my husband for 8 years, married for 4 years and we have 1 child together. He has just told me that he thinks he is bisexual. My reaction was not the most supportive which I'm ashamed about. He tells me that he has no intention of lea... View more

I have been with my husband for 8 years, married for 4 years and we have 1 child together. He has just told me that he thinks he is bisexual. My reaction was not the most supportive which I'm ashamed about. He tells me that he has no intention of leaving me and loves me. He has never been with a man. I do not want an open marriage. I have told him we should separate until he figures out what he wants. He does not want this. I am so confused...I know he would want to do right by our family but I don't want someone that stays with me out of obligation and is inherently unhappy with themselves or decides in 5 years time that he doesn't want to be with me. I have also read a lot of forums that sometimes bisexuality can be a stepping stone to gay (although I know this is not always the case). Obviously a lot of questions that I need to discuss with my husband but I have no one I can talk to and was hoping to get some support from others going through this (bisexual men or wives of bisexual men). Thank you

CB23 Getting it out
  • replies: 1

Okay, short back story....Over a year ago I kicked my partner of 10 years out due to just so much emotional abuse. Just constantly putting me and our children down or calling us names. I found out shortly after that he was on OnlyFans paying for pict... View more

Okay, short back story....Over a year ago I kicked my partner of 10 years out due to just so much emotional abuse. Just constantly putting me and our children down or calling us names. I found out shortly after that he was on OnlyFans paying for pictures and videos. I found out confronted him and he basically told me he stopped. (This is the second time he has cheated) anyways I obviously still agree to try and make it work because I don't even know why now I'm writing it out. Now the whole relationship he has had anger issues and this was a huge issue at one point and he went anger management and basically decided it was not for him. Anyways seemed his mood got a bit better until it wasn't and it was back to him just yelling abuse when he was inconvenienced. Now the whole relationship I can't say I'm a saint either I spent alot of my youth on drugs also with anger issues, depression and heightened anxiety. I am dealing with my issues I think pretty good these days. (No more drugs, full time great job, eating better, sleeping better, emotionally feeling pretty in control but still have those days)Now I feel like I've made a huge mistake, I feel trapped in this cycle with my partner I feel like I can't trust him I feel like he doesn't want the same things as I do but when I talk to him about it, it's almost like his just telling me what I want to hear but his actions are not showing the same thing and his getting out of drugs for good, yet last night he went off because he didn't have cigarettes. I don't know what the he'll I'm after with this post but I need to get it out. I just feel like I'm about to explode with emotion because idk I still feel like I love him but I can't let myself get comfortable because his so untrustworthy, so I'm in this weird limbo.Am I crazy? What do I do? And how do I do it? I need an emotional support friend to stand next to me and hold my hand because I'm hurting a little bit and I wanna keep myself level and not lose myself again.

Mike85 Partner of 7 years may want to end our relationship.
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone. I don't know why I'm doing this but I think I need to get it out there. My partner and I have been together for 7 and a half years. We live together in her house. We have two children one three year old boy who is my biological son and m... View more

Hi everyone. I don't know why I'm doing this but I think I need to get it out there. My partner and I have been together for 7 and a half years. We live together in her house. We have two children one three year old boy who is my biological son and my daughter who is 10 but I met her at 2. Last night we had a massive fight over something very small that had large repercussions. Her number one rule is no lying and I violated that for a very dumb reason. She then got extremely angry and basically told me that she was no longer in love with me and that she wanted me to leave.This morning we had another discussion with the heat out of the moment a bit and she is standing by her words from last night but has asked for space in the form of me going to stay with my parents for a few days.I'm struggling with so much of this and some of the abusive and violent language from last night. Further I have not spent a night away from my son or daughter since I moved in 5 years ago. I can't imagine not living in the same house as them. But it is not my house and she deserves some space. I don't know what to do. I love her very much but am tired of always being the emotional punching bag. I want to be there for my kids and can't leave them. I also have a history of depression and some pretty bad thoughts are creeping up and I'm not sure I would do well with time alone. Anyway thanks for reading.Mike.

Robby60 non-binary
  • replies: 7

I have a child in their early twenties who over the last couple of years has embraced non-binary culture and evolved a friendship group of people who are non-binary or trans. I am now under the impression that my child intends to start hormone therap... View more

I have a child in their early twenties who over the last couple of years has embraced non-binary culture and evolved a friendship group of people who are non-binary or trans. I am now under the impression that my child intends to start hormone therapy. While I appreciate that there are people who undertake sex changes and become more at peace with themselves as a result, I worry that there is a significant contemporaneous political push of non-binary concepts, for example people writing children's books for pre-schoolers introducing such concepts, and that there seems to be conflicted research on this topic with some ardently advocating non-binary concepts and others expressing concern about health outcomes. My child is super touchy at any conversation about this with me.I have seen a research paper that shows a higher incidence of childhood trauma correlation in people who self-identify as non-binary. My child has had some childhood trauma. I know two other parents who have non-binary children and both these children have failed to launch as economically independent adults.I'm very worried that my child may go down a path, possibly non-reversible, that might fail to provide the peace of mind they are seeking and end up with them being worse off. I am trying to figure out how to distinguish between someone who has true gender dysphoria and someone who is looking for anything to try to escape themselves. Any thoughts appreciated.

Rogger GENUINE QUESTION: Do people genuinely care about their friends?
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm not sure if this is a silly question, but I thought I'd ask anyway. So I don't really have any close friends at the moment (not asking for sympathy haha), nor do I have a close extended family or anything. I do however have two parents. Now, ... View more

Hi, I'm not sure if this is a silly question, but I thought I'd ask anyway. So I don't really have any close friends at the moment (not asking for sympathy haha), nor do I have a close extended family or anything. I do however have two parents. Now, I used to have friends who I felt fairly close to. We have known each other for around four years, and I felt close during this time. However, after the fourth year, the organisation we were a part of disbanded, and despite some efforts (especially on my end) to maintain the relationship, ultimately, they moved on with their lives, met new people, and drifted apart. Now, of course I understand that most relationships will be transitive, and accept that our relationship would likely grow weaker after our organisation disbanded. However, this doesn't prevent me feeling unhappy about it. Now, my parents told me that the chances of having friends who ever loved me was extremely slim, and that the only people who would ever really love me is them, my future wife, and any children I have. Now, I understand that the love between spouses is important for many people, but at this point in my life I'm not even sure if I want to get married, and if I did, I doubt I would want to have more than one child, contrasting their suggestion of having many. Now, given my relationship with my parents is... complicated, to say the least, this is somewhat disappointing to me, as it suggests, unless I choose to date, no-one will care about me. I'm a bit hesitant to start dating, partly because there was someone who I liked who was part of the organisation I was previously apart of. However, partly due to my own hesitations, and disapproval from my parents, I never asked her out. Since then, I haven't really liked anyone in the same way. So, I thought I'd ask here, I'm genuinely asking if people care about their friends. I'm fine if what my parents say is true, and that relationships displayed on TV are fantasies, there because they are what people wish for but can rarely have, but only so long as it's the truth. If anyone has any data on statistics of care among friends, that would also be fantastic!

keyboardcookie Struggling to get over my break-up
  • replies: 1

About 6 months ago, I went through a break up with a guy I dated for about three months. I felt it was the first time I ever actually 'loved' someone - although it feels silly to say such a thing about someone I spent so little time with. But, he mad... View more

About 6 months ago, I went through a break up with a guy I dated for about three months. I felt it was the first time I ever actually 'loved' someone - although it feels silly to say such a thing about someone I spent so little time with. But, he made me feel something I hadn't felt before. Since then, I've had crushes, been on dates, online dates, started a new course at university, went overseas, and even started a small business and yet - nothing makes me feel like I have moved on from. I still feel so hung up on him.The relationship ended very abruptly, with no explanation on his end, and absolutely no contact until I recently messaged him - only to get no response. I also recently found out he has been seeing people, although none of it has panned out for him. All of this makes me feel so pathetic and small. It seems I've done everything - travel, therapy, working out, changing my lifestyle, dying my hair, dating, working hard, no contact, never checking his social media - and although I can function in my day to day life well enough, I don't feel over him at all. He consumes nearly all of my waking thoughts, shows up in my dreams, and when I'm not thinking about him I'm actively trying NOT to think about him!I feel like he's moved on, and although I know he's not a good guy and the way he treated me at the end of our relationship was wrong, I just can't help wanting him back and feeling like I'm literally never going to move on. I feel like I'm going crazy and making no progress. My friends are so supportive but I can't help but feel like soon enough they're going to get sick of this, if they aren't already - and sometimes I wonder if I'm in a sort of hell of my own making - as if something in me is refusing to let me let him go and move on. Would really appreciate some advice on this, because I've truly got no idea how to move forward and forget about this loser guy who obviously couldn't care less about me

Guest_33052155 Teenage child
  • replies: 1

I've always struggled as a single mum, but I've strived to always do my best, both my girls never went without, I always put my girls first event staying single at two points for 4 years and then several years so I could focus on them, but apparently... View more

I've always struggled as a single mum, but I've strived to always do my best, both my girls never went without, I always put my girls first event staying single at two points for 4 years and then several years so I could focus on them, but apparently that wasn't good enough for my youngest daughter who is now 17 and has now ran away from home claiming childhood trauma from me,she claims I took her to random men's houses where she slept on the floor and where I had sex in the next room. For years she has bashed me just like her father did, standing over me taking all my money, I want to know where was my family when my daughter was growing up, when I needed help, no where that's right, I asked for help, but now that all the hard work is done they now have her and I'm left heart broken and lost. And now she is making these false allegations, she has absolutely destroyed me, I'm so heartbroken that she has done this, I've tried speaking to her, She is living with my sister and my sister has said if I keep trying to contact her they will go to the police, Yesterday I wound up in hospital as I was sick, I got asked who my next of kin was, or who my family was, I burst into tears I literally have no one now, I feel so alone,

Jessie65 Partners pot addiction is negatively impacting my life
  • replies: 6

Hi I need advice my partner of 3 years smokes pot from morning till night he works hard but is emotionally absent at home basically comes home like a zombie and eats and sleeps it impacts every area of our life from physical intimacy to emotional int... View more

Hi I need advice my partner of 3 years smokes pot from morning till night he works hard but is emotionally absent at home basically comes home like a zombie and eats and sleeps it impacts every area of our life from physical intimacy to emotional intimacy he quit for 10 months prior to moving into my house as I said I wasn’t having it but no sooner he moved in it began I have talked to him so many times encouraged him all the usual stuff he has visited he’s go twice but never really followed through he says he wants to quit as it’s ruined his relationships so far but he says he doesn’t know how to be without it I’ve had enough of feeling alone and unimportant but love him how do I set boundaries?