Relationship and family issues

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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Overthinger Over thinking
  • replies: 2

I’m in a new relationship, there is thing is great 90% till I get to the point I over think everything.. last night I could so upset think she don’t want anything to with that.. she ask me why I’m with her if think badly of her.. this the best person... View more

I’m in a new relationship, there is thing is great 90% till I get to the point I over think everything.. last night I could so upset think she don’t want anything to with that.. she ask me why I’m with her if think badly of her.. this the best person I have been with.. atm she is super with uni exams we have not had much time, last night when we did have time it like she try to get me go bed I thought be I was been a bother to her ( turns was not the case ) .. I have problem not tell her when upset or I feel like that .. because of past relationship..

Sammy Sad
  • replies: 2

After divorce from a long marriage at 40, I got out of abusive relationship where husband had bipolar disorder and alcohol issues but didn’t agree that he had problem. Left him and raised my daughter till she finished school and now she is 20! Stays ... View more

After divorce from a long marriage at 40, I got out of abusive relationship where husband had bipolar disorder and alcohol issues but didn’t agree that he had problem. Left him and raised my daughter till she finished school and now she is 20! Stays with me. I have been lonely since she finished school .Met someone from Canada who is a widower. I really liked him and we had been talking every day for a year. We both have met each other and stayed at each other’s houses and now nearly getting plans to live in together . He has agreed to move in. Don’t know why but I am feeling nervous about this new stage in life. Have been single for 10 years, past trauma from abuse and fear about how new life will be etc is making me feel anxious. My mum who is very pessimistic thinks my boyfriend is too smart and it’s all from what I told her. She hasn’t even met him as she lives in different country. She has always been an overprotective woman. When I was soo sad and lonely no one supported me to allay my loneliness. Now that I have finally found a person to live my life with, everyone is coming to scare me away. soo annoying that I am such a scary cat. Instead of enjoying the life that I have made and be grateful for all the good things… I am brooding

Guest_57350828 Emotional distant Husband left
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My husband told me he cared about me but didn't love me any more and left the next day. Me and our 3 girls. I have tried to write this a million times and everytime I try there are so many issues that it just makes me think how did we not leave each ... View more

My husband told me he cared about me but didn't love me any more and left the next day. Me and our 3 girls. I have tried to write this a million times and everytime I try there are so many issues that it just makes me think how did we not leave each other yrs ago. We love each other. I know that but I dont feel loved or support let alone a priority. Think, crossing boundaries, drinking issues, mental issues from childhood trauma. It's a really long story. But I'm not sure what to do. Of

Guest_43373528 Lost
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Hi I've never done this kinda thing before but I'm reaching out and hopefully it will give me the strength to do something about my life. I've been married for over 30 years and never had to worry about abuse but the last five years it's changed. The... View more

Hi I've never done this kinda thing before but I'm reaching out and hopefully it will give me the strength to do something about my life. I've been married for over 30 years and never had to worry about abuse but the last five years it's changed. The lack of effort, the lack of attention etc then came the hitting and name calling . Now I'm not your skinny kinda girl I'm built solid but when your man starts to call you fat pig and tells you their no point in talking to you and makes you fill like nothing you starts to believe it you see I'm to scared to go cause I have no money and I've never been alone . I've now turned to drugs to numb my fillings as I fill very alone . I believe he is having an internet affair but covers his tracks very well so I can't even catch him cause then I no I would have the guts to go to cops and put a statement in then he would be gone but then I'll loose my house and my adult kids would hate me . I fill so lost that I ask God to send me a man who would take me away to a happier life . I no this sounds stupid but this is what goes through my head on a regular basis .I think I love him or maybe I love the security of home , I cry nearly every day cause I no I'm unhappy but got no friends or family to run too . I don't no what to do

Guest_10219 Help! What do I do?
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G’day all. Just found this forum and need help. My son is 19. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder and a heavy marijuana user. He’s a very smart kid academically and studying law but he has a volatile temper which unfortunately I think I passed on to him.... View more

G’day all. Just found this forum and need help. My son is 19. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder and a heavy marijuana user. He’s a very smart kid academically and studying law but he has a volatile temper which unfortunately I think I passed on to him. His mental health has been and is the driving influence on our family. When he’s home (he has begun a degree and lives on campus in another town) we walk around on egg shells. If we ask him to do anything for us or mention something we have issue with he explodes. This puts a massive strain on the relationship between my wife and I. Our 23 year old daughter won’t come home if he is there. I find myself resenting him for that. But then, he idolised her when he was a little boy and she treated him and continues to treat him like garbage. Who knows how that influenced his mind? He had recently applied for funding to the Uni for some program he wanted to start where people sit around by candlelight discussing law cases. He had been up for 30 hours and it was the rantings of a lunatic. Now he’s working on a YouTube page. Ditto. Last night it came to a head. When asked to assist with kitchen chores after dinner last night he exploded and it eventually became physical. I didn’t cover myself in glory and probably started it by grabbing him but I was at my wit’s end. I had had enough of him screaming at us. My son has held us to ransom for over 10 years. Our house is sad and morose and in fear when he is home. I don’t sleep when he’s home. My wife is constantly in tears. I am currently sitting on the side of the road with a beer and don’t want to go home. I have had my mental health issues before. Depression, anxiety and insomnia. But I have my strategies. Just not in relation to my son. I don’t know what to do. Help! Steve

Djay25 Gambling addiction
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I have recently just told my partner I have a gambling addiction. This is the second time I have had to tell him in the past three years. The first time I got loans out, his mum helped me with money to pay off the loans. I lasted three years nearly w... View more

I have recently just told my partner I have a gambling addiction. This is the second time I have had to tell him in the past three years. The first time I got loans out, his mum helped me with money to pay off the loans. I lasted three years nearly without gambling. Then we would play a bit together in the last year and a bit, I promised I wouldn’t gamble without him. Which we didn’t do often together. Then I got bored one day and started gambling by my self. It started off okay, I would put some in and if I lost I would just leave it. Then it didn’t take long from there to get bad again. I wasted most of my inheritance on gambling, got loans out to gamble with but lost it all. The first time I told him, he was angry but we got through it. This time I’m not to sure. I have betrayed his trust, I said I would never get loans out again, I’ve lost what my Nan and pop worked hard for that they gave me when they died. He has told his mum, which breaks my heart, I’m now going to be hated by his whole family. He has sort of come around, he is taking full control of my finances (which I agree on) I’ve promised I will change, I will speak to someone (therapist) is there anyway of changing this around? Will I gain his trust back? His mums trust back? Even though he said she just let him vent and she didn’t say anything. How do I go about this? I’m so lost. This is the person I am. I’m not an untrustworthy person, I don’t lie. I have become everything I didn’t want to become. I feel like just ending it all.

DeutzFahr Girlfriend of 6 years wants a break or breakup
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My partner of 7 years has left me. I feel empty inside and I know it’s my fault, I took her for granted and can’t express how I feel.We have a beautiful dog together that I don’t want to loose as she is one of my closest friends.I worried about mysel... View more

My partner of 7 years has left me. I feel empty inside and I know it’s my fault, I took her for granted and can’t express how I feel.We have a beautiful dog together that I don’t want to loose as she is one of my closest friends.I worried about myself as I don’t have many close friends. I was going to propose to her 2 months ago and travel to Europe.I’m currently in the denial stage as it hasn’t sunk in that I’m losing my best friend.

Caughtbetween Stuck in a loop
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hi kind people im writing this down to help find a way through a real pickle ive found my life to be in.Im stuck and dont know how to move forward. I have a wonderful family 2 kids and a loving wife. But Im no longer in love with my wife and being ho... View more

hi kind people im writing this down to help find a way through a real pickle ive found my life to be in.Im stuck and dont know how to move forward. I have a wonderful family 2 kids and a loving wife. But Im no longer in love with my wife and being honest with myself I feel I married the wrong person. I did fall in love and we've had a loving marriage for 15 years but thes past 5 years its pretty much neen that Im just being a support system and income earner and provider for my family . I dont want to leave as it would devastate my kids and wife. However there is no meaning in the daily grind or future that i can look forward to with any real honest. It scares the crap out of me to be at this stage of life and facing into the abyss . Its also been a sexless marriage for many years where im always the one to initiate any intimacy. Im faithful have never cheated I dont drink, party, hang out with mates. im a devoted family guy that likes to be home with my family..but my marriage just seems so empty. Would like to hear of anyone else in this situation and what your doing to work through it. thanks for reading this far. T

SleeplessinSA Teen son left blames me for everything
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My nearly 18yo son, whilst we were travelling, just left with his dad. A letter, saying he needs to go. His dad and I separated just after he was born, due to being physically abused by his dad before he was born. I left few weeks after. It's been a ... View more

My nearly 18yo son, whilst we were travelling, just left with his dad. A letter, saying he needs to go. His dad and I separated just after he was born, due to being physically abused by his dad before he was born. I left few weeks after. It's been a rollercoaster ride of abuse verbal, stalking, trying to run me over, putting sand in my fuel tank...etc etc When my son was 14, he came to me and said he didn't want to see his dad. His dad took him to a party and wouldn't leave, so told him to sit in the car whilst he partied. Hours went by and his dad drove home drunk with him in the car. His dad previously lost his licence for life for drink driving and was on drugs. I took him to a physiologist to talk about what was happening and his feelings. She stated in family court, that my son see his dad if he chooses. Which family court ordered. Now 4 years down the track, the last two years being hard as I got really sick and he looked after me. He now blames me for not seeing his dad. For home schooling him, even though at the time it was what we wanted and enjoyed doing up until the last year. For not letting him have a normal childhood, he feels he missed out. This all, feels like it's coming out of his dad's mouth, not his. He says his been pretending to be happy, that he always did what I wanted. Even though I always made a point of saying we make decisions together..we are a team. He says, he doesn't like where his life is going with me. So choose to contact his dad and leave. I feel so heart broken, sad, angry because I did my best, miss him so much. Lost. Broken. I have goals and dreams I try to focus on, but my heart won't let me move on. He doesn't talk to me. His dad always said, I will take him away from you...he has done his promise. Part of me wants to contact my son and the other part says give it time, he will see how his dad is again. Just hard, I don't know how to move forward. I have no family. My friends have their own issues. Trying to stay positive..

RichoC Desperate and at the end
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Hello,Well, this is unexciting and miserable.My wife has started a pretend we're separated routine with me.Won't sleep next to me, makes excuses why. All of which can be managed and fixed.It feels like she wants to end it all with me because of my fa... View more

Hello,Well, this is unexciting and miserable.My wife has started a pretend we're separated routine with me.Won't sleep next to me, makes excuses why. All of which can be managed and fixed.It feels like she wants to end it all with me because of my failed behaviour.Apparently, I have ADHD, anxiety and I mouth off, which is terrible for her.Breaks my heart.I'm doing everything I know and have been taught to be calm and quiet now.But still avoids me so badly.This hurts me a lot.I keep asking if she wants to end it.She won't because she knows how much she'll lose.It just kills me.I'm going to see someone about my mental health asap and do whatever they say.Begging her to come back to me and work on us.All seems hopeless.I'm on the edge of breaking, lost my job last week through no fault of my own, just bad people doing bad things, illegally.I can't keep this up.I've begged her to try more and be with me and she'll see it's ok.Anyway at my wits end