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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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ceb76 Husband of 18 years has left
  • replies: 4

Hi I’m really struggling at the moment aster my husband of 18 years dropped a few bombshells on me about 7 weeks ago. We have gone backwards and forwards for 7 weeks and he has seen a psychologist and has told me he has some major childhood trauma to... View more

Hi I’m really struggling at the moment aster my husband of 18 years dropped a few bombshells on me about 7 weeks ago. We have gone backwards and forwards for 7 weeks and he has seen a psychologist and has told me he has some major childhood trauma to work through. He wants to separate while he does this and has left our house, split our finances and does not want contact from me for a coupleof weeks. He says he is hopeful of working things out but needs some space. I am gutted as at first he told me of a few issues in the marriage I had no idea about and when I pointed out that issues he has were there before we got married he took that on board. But still he has said some horrible things to me and now tells me it isn’t in fact about me… it’s about him and he needs to work out those issues away from me. I feel totally rejected and excised from his life and cannot eat sleep or work. My legs and arms tingle I am obsessing over what he is doing I am worried about my future. I am worried about him.

Soberlicious96 Addicted Step-son
  • replies: 3

Really wish my partner would stand up to his 'kids' (ages 35 and 33) and ask them to NOT smoke dope around us. It's bad enough that they drink so much and even play drinking games at times, but the fact that he is such a people-pleaser with them driv... View more

Really wish my partner would stand up to his 'kids' (ages 35 and 33) and ask them to NOT smoke dope around us. It's bad enough that they drink so much and even play drinking games at times, but the fact that he is such a people-pleaser with them drives me NUTS. We went to Melbourne on the weekend for one of their birthdays and there is always so much booze and dope there. I had already told N that I wasn't going to hang around all night to 'watch' it and I didn't either. I went out to an AA meeting just to get away for a bit. N was fine about that, no problem. BUT ...... N (my partner) is in just as much denial as A-x is. And A-x has all the traits of a full-blown addict. He's not even driving anywhere any more, so A-e told us the other day. She's pregnant and is gonna go into labour or something and will need A-x to step up right when he is wasted and doesn't even know it. Maybe I should get some NA flyers to take down there next time we visit ..... just leave them somewhere in the shed where A-x spends all his time drinking and smoking..... then again, maybe I could look for Nar-Anon (family support) online for myself. Seriously just don't want any part of being around all that active drinking and using. It does my head in. Posting this late at night to try and release some of the tension in my mind. Hoping I'll get some sleep now ..... Anyway, nigh nigh. Thanks for 'listening'. I'll check again sometime soon. I'm okay. Just a bit of an emotional 'hangover' from a difficult weekend. And this crappy constant rain is not helping anyone. Feeling in desperate need of sunshine and warmer weather. Take care out there y'all.Talk again soon. Xo

Brandon2142 Feelings of rejection in a sexless marriage
  • replies: 3

Hello everyone, I live in a mostly sexless marriage, has been this way for a long time now and I'm at the point where I feel unwanted and unattractive, like I'm kept here because it just works out better for everyone else in our family, we have two c... View more

Hello everyone, I live in a mostly sexless marriage, has been this way for a long time now and I'm at the point where I feel unwanted and unattractive, like I'm kept here because it just works out better for everyone else in our family, we have two children together and none to anyone else, I'm almost 30 she's almost 28.For years I would always be the one who initiates intimacy, at the beginning of our relationship it was also her, however now it's only me and I'm always being turned down and this is really hurting me, I have told her I hate that it feels like Im having to basically beg by being the one who has to ask all the time, it's an awful feeling that causes me to feel detached, like I'm just some other guy.It's gotten to the point where I don't want to try anymore, I don't want to be the one who has to carry all these feelings and the confusion, so when going to bed I say goodnight and go to sleep, she has asked if I'm alright and that has hurt me more because that has signified that in our relationship I'm either suffering at the hands of rejection or "theirs something wrong with me"Feels like I'm a matter of convenience in this relationship, while my needs go unattended to, every time I have said something there has been no resolution for my feelings, like I'm not being taken seriously because.

xxlostxx I need advice!
  • replies: 3

I’ve been with my husband for almost 9 years. 5 years ago a long string of cracks started showing. He left myself and our then young child in a hotel room whilst he went and enjoyed private strip shows and maybe a brothel..? I can’t confirm nor deny ... View more

I’ve been with my husband for almost 9 years. 5 years ago a long string of cracks started showing. He left myself and our then young child in a hotel room whilst he went and enjoyed private strip shows and maybe a brothel..? I can’t confirm nor deny this. Though I’ve caught him looking up escort services and he gambles and makes poker deposits behind my back but financially restricts me when I need to go grocery shopping. I’ve recently caught him sex texting and sending his private’s to another girl he met on a chat site. He promised me he wouldn’t do it again even sent me a message whilst he was at work saying that he loves me and that he’s sorry he’s made these mistakes and will not do another and thanking me for not leaving him but then the other day I find another account he created shortly after on an online dating site and I asked him if he had created one and he lied to my face then got very defensive. I didn’t bother showing him the proof of what he’s done because I felt so defeated by this point and just kept it to myself. I think 5 years on of constant broken trust it’s been made clear that I need to leave. Im so sad and so alone. We have two young children and the last thing I want is to break up our family but my mental health is really taking a big hit from this. I honestly thought he was the love of my life, I’ve never deprived him of anything so for him to do such things really confuses me…What would you do..? This is all high level because of the limited characters, I hope I’m making sense.

Chris 21 Can’t get over my ex.
  • replies: 5

I wish to pour my heart out,I was with my ex for 27 years, she is my world I hit her and to this day I regret it.i was charged by the police and admitted the guilt. It has been 12 months since, I was removed by the police, they took out an ADVO on me... View more

I wish to pour my heart out,I was with my ex for 27 years, she is my world I hit her and to this day I regret it.i was charged by the police and admitted the guilt. It has been 12 months since, I was removed by the police, they took out an ADVO on me I accept that, Only saving grace is my eldest daughter got herself removed from the avo.I cry everyday over her, Ive had depression tablets, don’t work… i struggle, to awake, to cope at work, I was put under mental health watch due to chronic depression. all everyone tells me is move on. let her go, my heart is so so broken, she was the love of my life… and i regret every day what I did.I have the advo til august 2024.. so can’t contact her… she treats me like I am dead justnwalked away from me … took my little one and turned her against me and disowned my eldest daughter .. it broke my heart the other day to see my eldest so depressed too .. I am so lucky to have her, we are getting a rental together.I am so so lonely, I have no friends, no one to tell.her mum was my best friend, after we split I had her face tattoo on my right arm, it wasstupid, but it’s all I have left of her I speak to it and pretend she hears me. she won’t give me a chance and I don’t deserve a chance.completely broke.I cry everyday, And I’m tired so tired. I have seen sp called experts , move on get over her etc.im constantly stressed headaches, lack of though process etc.I have no friends I’m sad I know none to talk to … I try to explain to my daughter how I miss her mum, but I can’t Burden her … I am struggling but I do not trust doctors … who want to pump,me with drugs that do not work… i am emotionally damaged not mentally ill …. I struggle to interact with people .. all I have is my daughter and 2 cats …. I just wanted to get this off of my chest … and hope if I do and tell the truth karma might help me get my partner back … I realise, what love was and I have lost my soul mate … I really pray no one ever has to suffer my deserved pain …. All I can say is I miss you GG, (not real name) I hope the universe sends this too her.I can’t call or speak to her as I will breach Avo and go to jail. I just wanted to say, I am sorry GG, i know you will never read his but I will never give up fighting to get you back …. I love you so much baby, I’m so so sorry.

EERIEVERSIBLE I want to take a social media detox to improve my relationships and mental health
  • replies: 9

I have had a realisation that Instagram is negatively affecting my mental health and how I relate to others. I see idealised visions of reality that I want to fulfill. But the fact that they exist on social media is the point, to present something th... View more

I have had a realisation that Instagram is negatively affecting my mental health and how I relate to others. I see idealised visions of reality that I want to fulfill. But the fact that they exist on social media is the point, to present something that exceeds reality. Obviously I want to cull Instagram, but should I do with other social media sites? How would I contact my friends? How would I interact with them besides sending memes? Most of my friends are internet friends and I vc regularly on discord. What would I do with myself? I know I could do hobbies but like. Most of my time is spent on social media. I need advice

Pink-Swirl Co parenting problem
  • replies: 8

My ex and i have kids together and we share care week to week. I feel so lost when my kids aren't with me. I work a casual job during school hours and so I am basically a stay home mum, I also have a new partner who's children live with us fulltime, ... View more

My ex and i have kids together and we share care week to week. I feel so lost when my kids aren't with me. I work a casual job during school hours and so I am basically a stay home mum, I also have a new partner who's children live with us fulltime, they attend school also. My ex works full time and will start at 6am and finish around 6pm mon-fri, sometimes on a Saturday until after midday.. his gf picks kids up from school and cares for them when he is not home. She is good to the kids but I just can't feel comfortable that she is caring for them when they could be with me. It makes me feel sad as it was my world to care for my kids for many years and last couple of years has changed so dramatically. I tried to explain this but it unfortunately backfired and I've hurt the ex and exs gfs feelings. The exs gf has lashed out fully at me and now we don't speak at all. The ex just flogs me off and ignores anything other than talking about the kids. I've recently tried emailing explaining I would like to change the care times around so that he can be present when the kids are at his. Its now been weeks since a response, he shuts me down everything, saying things like don't harrass me about it and I don't at all so it makes me feel even more awful. I find this to be really hurtful and frustrating. I would just like to know if anyone else has gone through something similar and maybe some advice on how I can feel better about this situation as it just feels like such a mess that I do not want in my life.

maggie1 After toddler and relationship advice
  • replies: 3

Hi, im after some advice on toddler tantrums and a relationship on the rocks.My beautiful nearly 3 year ond girl has some seriously big feels! She is amazing, sweet, clever, funny and the best gift in my life. But she has huge tantrums(most days) whe... View more

Hi, im after some advice on toddler tantrums and a relationship on the rocks.My beautiful nearly 3 year ond girl has some seriously big feels! She is amazing, sweet, clever, funny and the best gift in my life. But she has huge tantrums(most days) when things dont go her way, like not wanting to leave the park, wanting to walk instead of being in the pram, nappy changes, getting out of the bath, getting changes... just to name a few. She wil hit scream, cry, roll around, tell me to go away, even just lie down on the floor and not move. Im pretty gentle and try to talk to her, or if we are at home i put her in time out in her room, or i ignore her, sometimes they go for 5 min but tonight was about an hour. Its caused huge issues in my relationship with her dad as i dont agree with the way he deals with the tantrums (yelling at her, closing her in her room, telling her she naughty....) then i get the blame and told im stupid and im the reason shes this way.I should add shes also is a terrible sleeper, i feel like me and my partner haven't slept since she was born, again he tells me its my fault. Am i wrong to think this is abusive? IAny advice would be helpful, thankyouxx

HanSolala Retroactive jealousy OCD
  • replies: 1

Hi all, First time poster. I was diagnosed with OCD at a young age and it is something that has presented in many different forms throughout my life. Currently, I’m experiencing something completely new. I have obsessive compulsions to look at my hus... View more

Hi all, First time poster. I was diagnosed with OCD at a young age and it is something that has presented in many different forms throughout my life. Currently, I’m experiencing something completely new. I have obsessive compulsions to look at my husband’s ex-girlfriends social media and basically ‘stalk’ her online. After researching this feelings/behaviours online, I stumbled upon ‘retroactive jealousy OCD’.It’s a behaviour I’m incredibly ashamed of and desperately want to stop, but I can’t. It feel exactly like all my other OCD compulsions, like an itch I have to scratch. I spend hours each day searching her name online, trying to find old social media accounts, photos of her, news articles, and mostly things relating to their time together. I’ve broken into my husbands social media accounts, just to read over their old messages to each other. I know this is going to sound absurd. But I’m not even jealous of her! My husband is incredible and our relationship is incredibly healthy. I have absolutely no concerns that he harbours any feeling for her or that he’d leave me for her. My husband is aware of this behaviour and it’s something he is super compassionate about, trying his best to support me where he can. But I know it’s uncomfortable for him to talk about his ex, as it wasn’t a healthy relationship for him. He’s moved on and I want to also! After a lot of reflection, I think this behaviour stems from a place of control and power. I struggle greatly with feeling out of control. I think that if I know all of the information about her and their past relationship, I can have a stronger sense of control? All of my OCD behaviours stem from wanting control. Anyway, just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced this and what techniques you have used to help end/reduce this behaviour? Thanks,Lala

skater99 Kicked out of home in the housing crisis
  • replies: 1

Due to a family breakdown, my parents decided to evict me and my partner from where we have been living together. My mother suspects my girlfriend of abusing our pets because of something she witnessed out of context. She had also accused both of us ... View more

Due to a family breakdown, my parents decided to evict me and my partner from where we have been living together. My mother suspects my girlfriend of abusing our pets because of something she witnessed out of context. She had also accused both of us of lying and stealing from her which we had proven to be wrong. After a family breakdown, I was given the choice to stay with my parents or leave with my partner and try establish ourselves outwhere. Knowing that my mother was wrong, I decided to leave home but have since been unable to even find a room to rent in the area. Our only options are to stay with her parents over an hour and a half from the city, or to couch surf and hop Airbnb as we have been doing. Both of us are now at risk of losing our jobs due to instability and both of us have been sick and run down from the constant stress. I just want to know that things will get better.

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