Autism and denial

[Mum7]

Hi i have 5 kids 3yrs ago i was told my child was autistic so i started the process of having her assessed and diagnosed. I told my inlaws as i have no family and my father inlaw said thats cow dung and you dont look autistic you have serious mental issues.

My 6 yr old has also been diagnosed and have 3 other children and myself off for an assesment as well.

At Christmas last year i again tried to explain autism my sister inlaw said i was having a psychotic episode and to call police all because i would not smack my son.who i believe is autistic. This all happened approx 7 hrs and i had to drive home.

NOW they want to see the children again but refuse to accept autism and say im mentall ill.

[smallwolf]

Hi,

Sounds very frustrating when you want (need?) to talk to someone and you don't get the support you were hoping for. A friend as twins boys (aged 10) and one is autistic - except in certain situations he is "like" a normal 10 year old. Some other people don't understand any of it unless it happens to someone very close to them. So your story saddens me.

Please don't take my question the wrong way.... how important is it for you that they accept the diagnosis autism?

There is a person I know very closely that I don't talk about my mental illness about. This person has said he doesn't care. So that is a topic I avoid with him. Additionally, if I follow the advice of Brene Browne - she said she has a small bit of paper with the names of those persons whose opinions matter to he. Following that advice, I am able to talk to this other person. How are your relations with the in-laws?

Listening to you,

Tim

[Mum7]

Hi

Its kinda important as it has come between my partner and myself. I get confronted by them everytime i see them about being a bad mum because i wont smack or growl at my children. I do not trust them withny children as they dont know how to deal to deal with sensory overloads and dont even believe they are real.

My husband thinks the world of his family, when him and his family get together its like im the odd one out. And they do not talk tp me unless its to criticize.

I just dont want my kids to see them without me and i dont want to see them. But i also want a happy marriage. Starting to think i should just seperate but the logistics of seperating that is not possible

[therising]

Hi Mum7

If I was to think about the traits of what people refer to as autistic, I imagine those traits to belong to someone who is highly sensitive and highly intelligent:

• Sensitive to a lot of information coming in at once due to an amazing amount of brain activity. Some may have to look away from others so as to not further overload their systems with unnecessary stimulation such as eye contact. This is a naturally intelligent ability

• Honest with what they are thinking (they may omit social politeness). By the way this is common practice amongst certain nationalities, to do away with the pleasantries so as to get straight to the point
• They may introduce a rocking motion so as to naturally calm them self as opposed to taking relaxants in the form of the unnatural (medical relaxant). One could see this as a form of zoning out and into a meditative state or meditating on calmness. By the way humming is a proven and productive form of relaxation
• An unusual interest or obsessive interest in certain objects may be observed as the ability to study things extensively so as to fully understand them. This requires a highly intelligent level of commitment and patience
• A desire for sameness can be seen as seeking those who can relate

I could go on but you get the gist that you may be dealing with personalities of high intelligence who have a high degree of self understanding that the rest of us folk aren't fortunate enough to possess. Intelligence is defined as the ability to process information.

I'll try putting an unusual spin on this that perhaps may amuse you. I will ask the question, 'Are people who work with 'Autistic' kids actually trying to get them to adjust to a world that doesn't understand their incredible intelligence and amazing natural abilities?' I believe this is a question worth pondering. No wonder folk who are diagnosed with 'Autism' appear so frustrated so often; they're trying to deal with crazy people who are convinced they themselves are perfectly 'normal'.

Perspective is a powerful tool 🙂

[smallwolf]

Hi, I have a vague understanding of what you think when you speak of being the odd one out - put me in any group and that includes in-laws and I am more of an observer rather than a participant and feeling that I don't belong. For you though it goes deeper because you are not believed in what you say. You mentioned your husband in your latest post and I was wondering what he thinks of this situation? How does he feel?

Just because you don't smack your child does not make you a bad mum. The facts that you are raising 5 children shows a person who is loving and caring. There is a change in generations - parents once used to smack their children don't now. I didn't.

How do you see your marriage?

Tom