apologised to some people i hurt, but i still feel guilty

[booga]

so i made a post a while back talking about how i was afraid to apologise to my ex friend who i was reaaally toxic to (i ended up apologising, thankfully. he didnt forgive me and thats okay)

now im struggling with another problem and that is i still feel guilty and i know i need to move on, but i feel like ive done a lot of stupid things in my life, and a majority of it was when i was 12-16 years old. i know teens do stupid things, but i still feel nasty about it, and all i wanna do is let go of who i used to be because im so ashamed of my past

like i used to be a really rude and mean person and this year ive focused on improving myself, but i still feel like deep down ill always be a bad person. i still struggle to respond to my new best friend's infodumps (i do find them interesting! i just struggle to actually pay attention and respond well). im scared if people ever find out how bad of a person i was, then theyll tell me ill never change and ill always be bad. i dont want to be a bad person, i want to be good

[Croix]

Dear Booga~

Welcome back, I'm sorry that problem with your ex-friend is still troubling you. Actually is sounds as if all the things you have done in the past that you think were wrong are weighing you down and stop you from looking at yourself though fresh eyes.

You are not seeing the good you have done - and I"m sure that would be many things, even if you have not remembered or recognize them.

As you say yourself you turned over a new leaf and have been a different person, improving on what you thoght you were. All the time the past poisons your thoughts about yourself it's going to be pretty hard to feel better, that you are in fact a good person, and I am sure that you are.

No bad person would regret things the way you do. As you have not felt better about yourself can I suggest you get some counseling to help you see your past, both bad and good, with a true sense of proportion and leave you room to feel good now.

Once you do other people will see it too, that is not really a problem.

Croix