Alcoholic Mother

[gabi227]

I am 21 and live with my parents. I have a great relationship with my dad, but not really with my mum. She is an alcoholic, but she won’t admit it. She drinks an entire bottle of wine every night by herself. When she is drunk she becomes really mean and rude to my dad and I. She’s been like this my entire life but it’s becoming too much. I also struggle with mental illnesses so it’s difficult to cope with her on top of everything else. I have tried to talk to her about her drinking but she just becomes defensive and mean. I know alcoholism runs in her family and she didn’t have a great childhood, but it’s hard to be empathetic to this when I’m actually living and dealing with the complications of this. It’s extra tricky due to me now having to work from home because of the virus as I’m home everyday now.
Moving out is not an option for me at the moment either as I don’t earn enough and am a uni student. I also don’t want to move out and leave my dad with her, because she does also become violent towards him and mean and I don’t want to leave him with her. I’m just really struggling at the moment. I have an older sister who has moved out, but she doesn’t like to talk about it. I also can’t go visit friends or anyone due to the virus.

[Guest909]

Hi gabi

Unfortunately, your story is not an uncommon one. Mental illness (alcoholism etc ...) seems to prevail in certain families. The problem may be genetic or environmental where the "illness" is passed from a parent to an abused child.

This is a problem that I observed in my wife's family; the illness and alcoholism went back many generations. It's a hard cycle to break; after 30 years, the illness eventually destroyed my marriage.

The situation will probably improve a little once you move out of the family home; unfortunately, the long term psychological damage may not be that easy to fix.

It sounds like you have a good relationship with your dad; make the most of that mutual support.

All the best