2nd relationship confused

[Lost27]

Hello everyone,
I hope someone can help me out. If you have read my last threads my last relationship ended badly. He was very emotionally and verbally abusive. He wasnt very nice towards the end. I have anxiety and depression so with what he did made things much worse. But during the relationship it I felt like I was on cloud 9. Everything felt perfect and so much emotion and everything felt amazing. He made me feel like I was worthy of everything. He made me, me now I know he was very manipulative because we would fight and say it was my fault and it would be my fault. But when we fought it was the worst hurt ever then we would make up it would be the best. It felt like a rollercoaster like a high after we fought. It felt like the honeymoon phase all the time. We where together for 3byears. Anyway about a yearish after we broke up I found someone and he treats me so well. He isnt perfect and we have had our ups and downs but no one is perfect. I know I love him I know that. I have talked to my therapist about that feeling I had with my ex and I know it wasnt completely healthy. But I am unsure whether or not you are meant to feel that excitement and happiness like I did with my ex. With my now bf I can be myself, happy or sad in front of him without feeling bad, if i am upset at him or want to share my emotions i can without getting blamed or told its my fault. I love spending time with him. I know my anxiety and depression takes over sometimes if I forget to take my meds and that's probably the reason I am wrighting this right now because once it's in my head it wont leave and it just rolls and rolls over and over in my head. So I am trying to figure out that I know I love him but do I love love him. Should I be feeling how I o felt with my ex. That feeling of high and every second of the day I loved him to death and he was my everything without him I felt like nothing Because I dont feel that with my bf now. It feels different. I feel content and happy and just love being with him and cuddling and kissing and everything. Just feels even and get. So I dont know if I am just thinking this way because he was my first relationship and he was abusive and that's all i know I'm very unsure.
I really hope this makes sense, please help me

[Guest_3256]

Hi Lost27.

Sorry if may not have made sense, I had some technical difficulties replying back. Good to see you are reaching out here and I imagine that it must be a difficult situation to experience. I may not able to give the advise you are looking for.

I am not sure how long you have been with your new partner, however, it' not uncommon for people to feel this way or if they have made the right decision. In my mind, I would say that it's similar to trading in a old car a for a new one. There's this new car feeling, everything is great but you wounder if you made the right choice. The old car was very familiar because we became used to it. The old car gave us some really good days and then other times it treated us horribly and made life difficult.

The new car is going to be whole new experience as we are learning all the new wizz-bang features and it may not be the most sportiest or luxurious motor car, but it suits our needs.

You may find yourself still learning the ways of your new car but in time, things will be better for you, hopefully.

Let us know how you're tracking.

Good luck.

🙂