Why can't i ever stand up for myself?

[Guest_672]

I had a big trigger 2night or last by the time ive finished this. It might seem like nothing to anyone else but to me its upsetting. I had a friend i met 8yrs ago who we met through our dogs being service dogs. She was super clingy from the start and wanted me to move in with her to be her carer. The warning signs were there to back away but i felt too guilty because she had a noticeable physical disability so i stuck around and had let her use me. Very long story short the last time we spoke was a long time ago when i got an inheretance when my beautiful mum and nana my mums mum passed away. The day after i recieved the money she said the same thing every single day for a full month saying i wish i had someone in my family pass away so i could get $10, 000 to renovate the bathroom for when her physically disabled husband will need a wheelchair permanently. After a month i gave in and gave that amount of money to her. I knew she wasnt going to give in and i thought a paid human friend is better than no human friend. 2 days later she showed me pictures or a cruise they we're going on. The following months i tried to let it go but it was eating me up inside and i texted her what i felt. She ended contact after that which secretly i was glad. Last night she turned up out the blue with her dog and started talking about the bathroom ndis are paying for. Her very large dog ran back and forth from my wet garden and garden bed through all my carpet and she said you dont mind i let him run around cause he hasnt been off the lead for a week. Of me being the wus i am said of course not. I have spent hrs cleaning up after and have to get my carpet cleaned which i currently cant afford. She wants to come back in a few days. I was trying so hard this month to help myself but 2night has set me back alot. I have to let her in again and let my house get destroyed again because ive learnt i not to be respected

[Ennyl]

You have the fundamental right to make your own choices about who you let into your space. Just because this person arrived at your door, you don't have to answer the door. If she phones, you can hang up or ignore her messages to phone back. She is stepping over all your boundaries, and using you yet again. It doesn't make you a bad or difficult person when you validate your own wishes and rights to privacy and self determination. 'No' is not a dirty word, even though some will try to turn it around and blame you. Who cares what they think about you? They don't care about anyone but themselves. She sounds like she has Narcissistic tendencies. Your strength is needed to resist these types of manipulators-they twist every truth. But when you refuse to have anything more to do with her anymore, you'll feel so proud of yourself for standing up to her, and for yourself. Others don't have an automatic right to insert themselves in your life.