Where to start?

[K8k]

So I took my son to a social worker a couple of weeks ago and after talking to her for an hour she cracks my shell and tells me I have deep anxiety issues that I need to deal with (in a nice way), I knew I had things going on in my head but nothing that I thought was oozing from my being for others to see. Then she asks me if Im always this anxious (which I never noticed or understood I was) and somehow all of a sudden it all makes sense and I burst into tears as she gets me and understands that its hardwork being me. All a little bit daunting considering I was there to get help for master 2 and turns out I need to help myself to be able to relax and deal with his issues effectively.

I always noticed when I didnt feel comfortable I would be out of breath (even if on a phone call or talking to a friend), that my mind doesnt ever shut off (I just thought others managed their thoughts better than I do) and that I get on edge, flustered & emotional when things are out of my control also that I fight to the end if life throws me a challenge (I had many different testing times and obstacles in my 35 years).

I guess Im writing this to try to learn out more about myself and to understand and manage my mind and what I have always thought was normal but turns out there is more going on up there than your average joe.

[blondguy]

Hi K8k

Welcome and good on you for posting such a great thread too!

Your post really got to me as you have a great social worker that helped you big time with 'letting go' of all the pent up life frustrations you had inside. That takes a huge amount of strength to do K8.

I envy you as I had 13 years of anxiety and never understood about 'venting' until I had the right counselor do exactly the same to me. I had no idea that I was so fragile. I burst into tears the same as you did. Yes...it felt weird and uncomfortable at the time but a couple of days later I realised that I was 'holding on way too tight' to my emotions.

The forums are a safe & secure place for you to vent or say whats on your mind K8. There are many gentle people that can be here for you.

Your post is an inspiration for many to read and learn from. You are a stronger person than you know.

Ive had anxiety for 13 years followed by depression for 21 years. I wish I had your courage and opportunity to vent as well as you have earlier on in my life

You have an absolute crackerjack social worker K8. If you cant see her on a regular basis, I hope you can see your GP and have some type of frequent counseling to help you obtain some clarity after what you have been through

If I may congratulate you on what is really a huge achievement.....and being a great dad too!

I really hope you can stick around the forums K8

my kind thoughts and respect for you

Paul

[geoff]

hello K8k, it's amazing how someone can suddenly see how you are travelling along and for them to finally ask you the magic question, one which you would have answered differently to a friend or family member to one which will finally crack open how you are actually feeling, what a terrific social worker you must have, to be able to open up your emotions, only a good s/worker is able to read through between the lines.
I suppose we grow up expecting good and bad times as a way of life, but it really goes much deeper than that, simply because we believe we adjust to these times, where in fact they leave memories which build up either for the better or for the worse, but the bad times grow much quicker than our good days then you have a problem in waiting.
Some people are still able to cope with these adverse situations, but then it comes to a point where we aren't able to do this and suddenly comes across a social worker or a doctor who can read between the lines and notice that you are suffering from a problem, irrespective of a much stronger concern that you have been carrying around for many years, that lays unnoticed, but a can of worms is opened up and makes you realise that there were other major issues, then that's what a good s/w or psych is able to do to help you.
If anybody can do this, then you should be constantly in touch with them, because you will need their guildance, and never be afraid of admitting that you have a mental problem. Geoff.

[Doolhof]

Hi K8k,

I too welcome you to the forum and the community here. It is wonderful that you reached out to get help for your son and found that you were being helped yourself! In a round about way, you are now informed of how you have not been dealing well with life for so long.

You now have the opportunity to turn your life around! We don't always ask each other the nitty gritty questions in life, especially not about mental health issues, so how are we to know what is "normal" and what isn't.

Are you able to return to the social worker for more chat time? There is information available on this site regarding anxiety. It may be beneficial for you to check that out. I find the more I read about depression, stress, anxiety and Borderline Personality Disorder, the better I understand my issues, and can live my life differently.

You are on a journey of discovery! You can learn about yourself and turn things around. One step at a time and you will advance.

Wishing you well on your journey of discovery! Cheers from Dools