when will it get easier....? will it ever get easier....?

[Sian_J]

BRIEF INTRODUCTION SO EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT ON THIS THREAD...

Saturday 7th February 2009, natural disaster - known as the Black Saturday bushfires what destroyed many homes, took many many lives, and left so many people lives empty and destroyed. My family and I lived in one of the worse affected towns flattened by e natural disaster. Kinglake.

Anyways, next years is the big 10 Year Anniversary since the event.

I relapsed already and I’m currently an impatient at an private hospital in Dandenong, (for those who don’t live in Melbourne Australia, it’s a hospital on the Mornington Penisula).

Like i said above, I’ve already relapsed from just the anxiety building toward the anniversary, and where still 4 months away. Yes, it’s not the entire reason behind my relapse but it does play a massive part to the reason for my relapse.

Anyways, getting off topic.

I’m so anxious about the anniversary next year. How am I suppose to cope with the emotions of it being the big 10 years since the event happened, whilst having camera in my face because they want to capture everything on video.

What at should I do to prepare myself? Does anyone have any suggestions??

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Sian J,

Thanks for your post and reaching out to us. I understand how you're worried about the anniversary coming up and hopefully we can offer you some support.

A big part of Black Saturday isn't just trauma (which you've mentioned) but also grief. The house that you had, the memories that you've had and the way that your life changed so quickly yet so dramatically. So in saying that coping with traumatic anniversaries can be similar to coping with grief anniversaries.

What do you think you need at that time? Only you know you best. You may find that there's support groups around to connect to others or online chats, or maybe you might need some time alone. I could tell you to meet up with friends and connect with other support but maybe you just want to be alone and cry - there's no real right or wrong answer as to how to cope.

As to how to deal with the media, perhaps that's something you could sort out beforehand. Knowing where about's they'll be so you know what you can prepare for and if that's something you want (or don't want) to get involved in. The more that you can control on the day (even if it's something little) the easier that it will be.

and finally, you'll probably find that while you're inpatient in Dandenong they'll have mental health services there, so it might be worth finding someone to chat with and see what feels right for you.

[Leisa68]

Hi Sian J,

I am sorry you are going through this. Recently I have read some research into the trauma that people who were part of the Black Saturday Fires. A lot of the trauma was significant and different ( I guess a lot of PTSD trauma is unique) to what most people experience in trauma. I am wondering if you need to expose your pain so publicly, and relieving the trauma.

In having PTSD myself, I sometimes relive the trauma, but I always come off second best. It is not the same for everyone. As you are receiving care, I would follow advice from your doctor. For myself, as the years go by, sometimes I don't always remember correctly and now I listen to my doctor and try other options, like not putting myself through the pain again. Sometimes it is the answer, sometimes it is not. Only you know.

Again I am sorry you are going through this. I hope you find some peace and help.

With kind regards

Leisa68

[WilliePete]

Hi Sian,

Thanks for reaching out for help. No matter the issue, you are not alone. Even if you feel it. The Black Saturday Event was horrific to all Australians but no more than you that lived through it. I wish I could tell you that it goes away but this is not a fairy tale.But in time and with some help it will become easier. I myself am battling PTSD and have been for over 20 years. I have good and bad days still. The only thing I could suggest is try and find through your GP or the local Hospital of any self help groups in your area where you can support each other. You might not be there for the same reasons but if they are locals then they will remember what happened and will understand.

I think that the fear of being confronted by the media during your moment of grief is making any anxiety so much worse. You don't even know if it will happen. Maybe if you wrote down on a piece of paper what you would like to say (remember to be nice), and carry it on the day just in case.

Writing what you went through down on a piece of paper, and reading it out aloud at home even by yourself can help. It feels like you talking to someone. Then tear it up. It might help. It help me but there is no quick fix for any of this. I wish there was. I'd sent it to you right away. After I had my share.

Anyway try to keep your head up, its ok to be upset. Let your body go through it. Talk to your GP and ask for any suggestions.

I wish you well.

WilliePete

[White_Rose]

Dear Sian

Welcome to the forum. It's good you have reached out here for some help with such a dreadful event. As WilliePete has said, it was dreadful for all Australians. My cousin is a fireman in the UK and he told me they followed the events closely and added more training to their program. He would understand the devastation and hurt which came from this.

I am sorry that you had this awful experience. We all know Kingslake and what happened there. I can absolutely see why you do not want to revisit it. While you are in hospital can you talk to the psychiatrist or psychologist there about your fears. I am presuming you are in a psychiatric hospital. If not can you arrange a meeting with whoever is helping with your mental health. I think this is too big to just hope for the best.

As everyone has said, it's OK to be sad/angry/hurting/etc. You are not Superman (or woman). Becoming distressed is the norm rather than odd. So much to live through and remember, I cannot even start to feel how it must have been. Please excuse me if I say the obvious or do not appear to understand. The truth is I don't know what it was like then or now.

Do you still live in the area? If so do you know of any groups who meet for mutual support? I think this is what you need, to be with those who also witnessed the fire and survived. What about your family? Can you spend time with them and feel safe? It was such a huge event with so much loss of life. I think there may still be groups meeting and their numbers will swell for this anniversary.

Talk to your mental health professionals who can give you some good support and ways to avoid the press. Talking publicly may help some people but if you feel you cannot manage then find a refuge on the days of the fires. Tell family no one from the press is allowed near your home. Getting video footage from someone's pain is disgusting.

Be guided by your body. It does know what to do. I wish you recovery and the ability to step back a little. Have someone with you all the time for your peace of mind. Continue to write in here for support.

Mary