The wave - anxiety then depression then anxiety then depression

[Rubybleu]

Who else is riding this high and deep wave? Will we ever get off? To the middle calm waters.

Im a CSA survivor/victim (I don’t really know which one I am) and am currently going through the investigation process of bringing my abuser to justice.
I’m at a really frustrating stage at the moment and my moods are all over the place. One week I’m flying high and then the other I’m sinking. My therapist told me this is what happens with trauma. I just don’t know how to get out. I don’t want this horrendous fluctuation all the time.
Is anyone else experiencing this?

[Rubybleu]

Your responses are so amazing! Thank you!
The false sense of self - yes that is what I had and I guess still have to some degree. I’m fine but not fine, I’m happy but very unhappy.
I was more than happy to go through life pretending that nothing happened but I can’t do that anymore. I can’t fake it. I want to tell people ‘this is why I am like this, this is why I’m socially anxious, this is why I’m unaffectionate, this is why I’m sexually embarrassed and awkward’. But I obviously can’t be saying that to every day people such as to other parents on the school run.
Im going to go and look up the dark night of the soul.
Thank you again 🙂

[geoff]

Hello Rubybleu, 'it’s going to get worse before it gets better ', and there will be many questions you ask yourself, something you may not have been able to do before, but at each stage of getting better, you maybe getting a bit stronger, in other words, capable of coping with different situations that once before you were unable to.

Your eagerness to tell people is so courageous and hopefully you will develop your own technique in making others aware of a situation they need to avoid.

Take care.

Geoff.