Struggling to come to terms with serious car accident

[Kelizabeth]

I was involved in a very serious car accident about 6 weeks ago and I'm struggling to cope with the thoughts that run through my head 24/7. I was T-boned on the driver's side by a 4WD going 110km/h and it all still feels surreal that I'm even here. I can't sleep anymore, I get images of myself in the car and no one can get me out and everyone is standing around looking at me but no one is helping and I'm screaming and in pain. I find that little things startle me so much and I've forgotten so many details of what happened even though I was conscious for the whole event. I'm getting so angry because everyone I reach out to for help seems to think I'm just absolutely fantastic because my physical injuries have healed and everyone keeps telling me I'm lucky...but I don't feel it. I feel so stressed and anxious I won't let anyone else in my car because I'm afraid I'll hurt them and I spend hours staring at the pictures of the accident trying to undo it or punish myself for what I've done. I've always been anxious but this is a whole new level and I'm having panic attacks literally everywhere, in the shower, in bed just remembering the small things I actually remember from the accident. People keep telling me it's normal to feel like this but I'm not convinced

[MarkJT]

Kelizabeth, as a PTSD, depression and anxiety sufferer, you are showing some signs and symptoms of PTSD. What I want you to do is book in to see the GP and this may result in a referral to a psych. That is okay - there is no difference between this and being referred to a physio for physical injuries.

After my triggering incident, I knew i was not right and 10 years later after it had eaten up all of my resilience, I was hospitalised and years of psych work has me functioning quite well. The moral of the story is that if i had of acted on this at time, i would have remained healthy.

You have noticed all of these things going on and it is only six weeks ago, so you need to jump on it and talk it out with the professionals. That is their job to do. The earlier these symptoms are treated, the earlier you will be able to process the thoughts and memories so that they cause you no stress anymore.

Do not get me wrong here either, you can recover, you can deal with and you can continue on living.

With the anxiety that you are feeling, be great if you can start to practise mindfulness. It is about living in the moment and not worrying about the future, nor the past. Mindfulness will help you ground yourself when you are feeling anxious.

I use a really good app called, "Smiling Mind" which is guided mindfulness and will help teach you it. It is a learned skill so please start it and continue with it. It is well worth it.

Awesome work coming to the forums and posting what you are going through. An excellent decision made and please post back and lets get you heading back to full health and that starts with the GP and/or psych visits.

I am not going anywhere so more than happy to discuss this and pass on more tips and tricks that worked for me and hopefully could work for you.

Take care

Mark.

[Guest_9809]

Hi Kelizabeth and welcome to the BB Forums. This is a caring and understanding group of people all with at least one thing in common - that of having a mental health condition. Thankyou for coming on here and sharing your story. I'm glad you did.

Mark has provided you with a great reply and lots of helpful advice which I hope you will put into practice.

I really want to emphasise one thing here - it is very important to treat trauma symptoms BEFORE they develop into PTSD. At the moment you are definitely experiencing symptoms which are typical after having experienced or endured a traumatic event. However, its important to realise that trauma does not always go on to develop into PTSD.

However, if trauma remains untreated, and thoughts and feelings around the trauma go unresolved, you can go on to develop PTSD at a later date. Technically PTSD is not diagnosed until at least 12 months post trauma, so 6 weeks after your trauma is way too early for you to be considered as suffering from PTSD yet.

Everyone after a traumatic event such as you have experienced will initially (and likely for several months after) experience trauma symptoms. Thats very normal, and it whats happening to you right now.

It is very important for you to seek treatment, as Mark has said. Go see your GP and they will refer you to a psych to help you process what you are going through. Early intervention is very important in preventing the development of PTSD.

Please dont do what so many of us do by not seeking support early. We can save ourselves much distress and future heartache by getting appropriate treatment early. I have PTSD and I wish someone had told me this many years ago. The thing with PTSD is that it may take many years to resurface, but its there. Prevention is far better than having to treat you later.

Also very important when suffering from trauma is to have adequate support around you. Family, friends and loved ones all play a part in helping you to recover, so please make an effort to not isolate yourself.

Please post back, as being someone who has experienced trauma myself, I would be very happy to talk futher if you would like to.

Taurus

[Samanthajane]

I can relate to what's happened to you. I was hit by a driver while road cycling 10 months ago. I sustained broken ribs, concussion and a broken back in 5 places. I now have chronic pain as the fractures won't heal. As I still look fit aside for the bad posture everyone around me thinks I'm fine and over it. And yes - tell me how lucky I am.

The biggest injury of all asside from the physical pain is the diagnosed PTSD, depression, anxiety and adjustment disorder.

it gets extremely lonely for me as I've lost a lot of friends, including being dumped by my boyfriend because he couldn't cope.

Initially I couldn't go to the shops as I carried the fear of everyone 'looking at me'. I later connected that to the flashback of bystanders staring at me laying on the ground at the crash scene.

To date no one understands why I am no longer the bubbly, giving and chatty person I used to be. Every day there is pain, a flashback, a reminder an explanation I need to give to someone and even occasionally I can still taste the morphine gas the ambo's gave me.

6 weeks after the crash I began weekly therapy with a psychologist who specialises in trauma. About 3 months into it I was prescribed medication which I personally believed has saved my life.

Now at 10 months post crash I realise - this is not a quick fix. My bones are permanently broken and so is my mind. I will always be a bit broken.

I still work on that every day and accepting that it's ok to be broken. I've stopped waiting to be my old self and realised I have gained some new things - like living the way I need to, taking care of myself, and a huge amount of perspective as nothing is more important than my wellbeing.

My biggest advice is speak up, don't be afraid to ask for help. You are not a burden.

Xx

[Gleevee]

Hi K,

I was hit by a truck a few months ago (hit drivers side) and I can relate to so much of what you're saying. I hated it when friends dropped around and said how well I was looking. Of course I couldn't show the seat belt contusions, the xray or all the tears I had cried. It took me over a month to even consider that it wasn't my fault even though it was so clear I hadn't done anything wrong. I remember bits and pieces, visual only, no sound. The first two weeks out of hospital were hell. I have a wonderful partner who has supported me through all this but I now feel guilty about what I've done to his life. Sometimes I'm fine, and I'm pretty good at faking it, but when I'm alone I just cry a lot. I've just received an email saying I have PTSD. I had already booked in to see a psychologist tomorrow so I hope that will be some sort of start. I just feel so broken.