Hi Thxlcc
So sorry to hear your work place experiences have brought you such sufferance. People can be incredibly cruel and extremely thoughtless. Glad to hear you have great support in you husband and kids. They obviously recognise what a star you are and how much you deserve support and guidance.
I can imagine, based on your past experience, you've become incredibly sensitive to fools or people who act foolishly at times. This has both a down and up side. The down side - we can be so sensitive to foolish comments and behaviour that we can find our selves reacting instantly in a way that triggers low self esteem/self trust issues. The up side - we can develop a positive sense of faith in our 'fool radar'. You know you've got your radar switched on the second you feel a reaction in your body. Example: If someone thoughtful says something nice to us, we basically feel happy. If someone thoughtless says something foolish to us, bamm, on goes the radar, sending signals that can be felt as anxiety. Our body goes into high alert. I find, typically, when someone's picked up on my radar, if I watch them long enough I realise they're like that toward most people around them. In other words, it's not you, it's them. They have a lack of consciousness that, for some reason, they refuse to address. Folk like this tend to have a master line they blurt out like 'You're too sensitive, you need to toughen up'. In my mind: 'Damn right I'm sensitive, that's why you're on my radar fool!' This can be a powerful enough thought to help raise my self-esteem. By the way, through a process of elimination, you get to find the nice folk.
One of the other benefits of 'fool radar' is - if your radar's in overdrive and you're picking up foolish behaviour all around you, you know you just gotta leave that environment. It's not a productive place to be working in. Way too destructive and stressful.
You may have to get tough with family members who aren't all that thoughtful. It doesn't take much thought at all to be insulting but it does take thought to be naturally encouraging and supportive. Your husband and kids sound like examples of deeply thoughtful people, as are you. The rest? I figure if I say to these sort of folk 'When you have the option to raise me or the option to bring me down, why are you choosing to bring me down?', it tends to either stop them in their tracks or it leads them to be defensive.
You deserve higher consciousness from all around you. Never forget this.
🙂
