PTSD and Trauma - Question

[Susie]

Hello,

Is it true that if a person has suffered loss like the death of my daughter to still birth at 8 months old inside my tummy, two years later my husband to another woman and the loss of all familiar connections due to this that this trauma can develop into a high sensitivity to loss of any kind and to people in general?

I have sought many sources to find out just what is going on with me from all of this. The past feels like it is constantly replaying the feeling and the scenes and I sit here in my lounge room wishing I could know how to being comfortable and secure in my own company and in the company of others. I so fear losing those I feel connected with, that I tend to not form any deep connections with people. And those that do develop into connections with I fear that I will attach myself to them. I feel like I am in this conundrum most of the time.

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi Susie,

Welcome the Beyond Blue forum. It is great to see you reaching out here. You are not alone in your experience with loss. I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your baby and later the loss of your relationship. Having multiple losses can certainly take its toll on people. Processing grief and loss is a very individual experience. Some people can get through it on their own, others need a bit of support to help process the grief and trauma so it doesn't recur as you have mentioned. Being sensitive to loss after experiencing what you have been through would be considered a normal reaction. But when you are unable to move on with other areas of your life and you find yourself thinking over and over about the past , it might be time to get some further support to help process your loss in a more structured way.

By visiting your GP, you can seek advise about your symptoms and seek a referral to seek a counsellor. Many people who experience the loss of a baby need additional support to cope with the trauma. There are a few websites that can offer you some further information on losing a child to stillbirth that I will list below but I still recommend that you discuss with your GP that you have lingering grief and would like some support to resolve this. Reaching out for help can be hard but in my experience, the sooner that you get support, the faster that symptoms can be healed.

https://www.sands.org.au/sands-resources/about-grief

https://www.cope.org.au/planning-a-family/pregnancy-loss/

Another option to get support is to contact a support line. Beyond Blue have a free 24/7 Support Line that can help in some of those tougher moments. Sometimes having someone to hear your pain can be very healing in itself even in the short term. The support line number is 1300 22 4636.

There are many people who experience complicated grief and loss situations and there is support out there but you will need to be proactive and seek out the right support for you. With the right level of care, you can heal and feel confident in building strong trusting connections again.

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn