PTSD and Identity

[jessica4]

Hi,

I am actually new here so i am trying this for the first time.

I have PTSD as a result of child abuse. It was a long road to recovery but i got there. Now as it stands i have a Degree in Social Welfare and i am currently doing a Masters Degree in Mental Health Practice. Despite my recovery and educational background i am finding that when people (even of academic class) find out i have a mental illness i get a lot of comments from people suggesting i don't continue my studies in case i am triggered. Some even suggest that i cannot work in mental health because i have an illness and everyone will think i take it all to personally. Some people roll their eyes and shrug of what i say like it is not a fact because i have an illness therefore nothing i say is a fact. Not everyone does this, a lot of people support me as well. My question i guess is does anyone else struggle with this? right now i am second guessing my pathway to a PHD because i have been dealing with a negative environment lately. Maintaining an education and an illness is hard work and i sometimes struggle with my identity because of it. I guess right now it feels like no matter how hard i try my illness dictates my identity regardless of my hard work or sense of self. I found myself wondering if there is even a point trying to pursue education or normal functioning if people are going to treat me based off my mental illness not as myself.

jess.

[Lonelydan]

Hi Jessica, so you're surrounded by people who will make lousy metal health workers, you on the other hand will be an excellent one and highly sort after. Dan..

[Starwolf]

Hi Jessica, welcome to the forums.

Stigma can be such a terrible influence...and it is true that mental illness can make us more sensitive to criticism.

The fact that you are willing to use personal adversity to benefit others shows your compassionate heart. I say kudos to you. There's nothing like experience and inside knowledge to make you a force to be reckoned with in your chosen career.

You may have to look neither to the left or to the right and use as barometer the way YOU feel about it...not what other people think (usually due to ignorance of facts). It seems changing a toxic environment would be a better choice than changing the pathway you are on. If it cannot be changed, pruning relationships that bring you down may be preferable to changing the pathway you're on.

There are a lot of high achievers out there who are also dealing with mental illness. It can be done.

I had PTSD too, also do to childhood abuse among other traumas. It's been a long, rocky road but I am now fully functional and enjoying it. I too like to use what I have learned to make a difference. But I also have had to choose carefully who I shared my history with. Being selective is a self-preserving strategy. Prejudice and misconceptions die hard. No need bashing one's head against someone else's brick wall.

You have my admiration and respect. I wish you all the best.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Jessica4,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here.

So it sounds like you're second guessing what you want to do because people have queried or suggested you weren't right for the role due to PTSD. I'm really sorry that you're having to go through this experience; it seems to be like people are judging you without even knowing you or your capabilities.

I think a big part of working in mental health is learning things that can't be taught; acceptance and empathy. As counsellors/psychologists/psychiatrists, I think we try to take on people with a blank slate regardless of what's going on for them and do our best to see what life is like in their shoes.

A lot of people enter and work in mental health because of their own experiences; I'm interested in working with trauma because I've experienced trauma and I'm interested in working with depression and anxiety because I've gone through that too. Having PTSD means you truly 'get it' as opposed to a student who has never experienced trauma like yourself. I think that's actually a strength; because what you'll be able to bring to your role is much more than any other student.

So - as hard as it is, know why you're doing this. Where do you hope to end up after your Masters? Use that to fuel you and bounce back with all those comments. I know from my own experience it's resilience; the more that you can tell yourself you're on the right path the easier it will be to knock down those ignorant comments.

Hope this helps,

[Pancake_]

Oh my goodness. Who better to advise people than someone who's been there. Power to you, girl!

[kanga_brumby]

jess There are several people I have been in contact with who have been asked why they have been in there job well because they liked it. The people I am talking about were volunteers working in the state emergency service doing what ever any one else was doing . But why they had physical disabilities still getting out there working on roofs. chain saws doing what ever was needed As in most cases when I talk about them it is people with different abilities because we cannot do it all some people can do things some cannot you can do some things not all

We might be rely good and do a lot of different things In my life I have turned my hand to a lot of different things Some people don't believe me when I tell them what I have done then I show a hand full of different things now they believe you don't listen to the nay sayers If your comfortable working in mental health work there. For a few years I could not be near an open container of petrol I would gt flashbacks to an accident I had now I don't as i said keep working in the field We need mor people like you out there breaking the myth

[Pip25]

Hi Jess,

I have had a similar experience but have persisted with my study and my career choice. Sadly, I've continued to encounter people who believe my PTSD limits my capacity to study and work in mental health/community services sector. But please believe me, the empathy and understanding you will be able to give your clients will prove time and time again that they are wrong. I've had so many clients tell me how relieved they are that somehow I 'get it', where others have not. I'm sure your research will reflect your real world insights into mental health and will have the potential to influence positive change.

Sometimes you will have to focus a little more on self-care compared to others studying or working in the field. Remind yourself to prioritise your health and wellbeing. Your clients deserve you to be your best self and sometimes this will mean you will need to seek additional help and support. This is not unusual for people working in the field, even for people without experiences of trauma. I have had many colleagues suffer from vicarious trauma due to workplace experiences and they have taken a step back to recharge and look after themselves. This is ok and if you have a supportive workplace, they should understand and even link you up with professional supports.

If this is something you are motivated to do then don't let stigma stop you. Find people who believe in you and will support you during this time.

I hope things get better!

[Copacabana]

Hi Jess. I am new too and this is my first time on here. Why tell anyone that you have a mental illness? I am very private and would be loath to tell anyone (even on this forum). However everyone is different. I have a problem that needs to be dealt with and after a few years, trying to deal with it on my own has proved difficult hence my summoning the help of others on this forum as well as professionals. I do not consider myself to be mentally ill. Yes. I suffered multiple trauma and still can't get over the hurt or the injustice caused. I feel that if I could punch the SOB that caused my torment I'd feel a lot better. This of course would have me arrested. And the cycle continues. There is a country that lets people resolve their grievances this way... maybe that is all I need!?

Good luck with your masters and don't let anyone distract you from your achievements. You are doing very well.