Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

[Little_B]

I've been experiencing signs of PTSD over the past month or two stemming from when I was a child and had a ver traumatic childhood. Forms of emotional and physical absue, separation from a parent and I never had a stable homelife wherever I was.

My mum was also diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, bipolar and anxiety when I was 20, after she had been treated with severe depression since she was 16. This misdiagnosis caused further trauma to myself as I had to deal with a lot growing up and after she was diagnosed properly I then cared for her whilst studying full time at uni and I was also in a very abusive relationship.

I have mentally blocked out things from what happened to me when I was a child, however, recently I have been getting flashbacks and nightmares.

I'm experiencing a lot of anxiety and irrational thinking. It's affecting so many things in my life and I'm so scared that I'm going to lose them. Mainly my relationship with my wonderful partner. I tend to push people away and not let people in when I'm experiencing anxiety or negative thoughts as I've always had to look after myself and now I'm so worried that any partner no longer feels the same way about me. He also suffers from mental health problems and I support him through that. He had a bad episode early last month and I helped him through a lot of it.

I've never been treated for any kind of mental health problems but I'm going to see my doctor this week to see if we can set up some kind of counselling or perhaps a mild form of medication as I would rather take on the PTSD using therapies and not rely on medication.

I'm usually a highly positive person but I've had quite a lot of worries and events in my life happen over the past 8 months and I think the excess stress is what has triggered things.

if anyone can offer me some advice that would be amazing.

Thank you

[kanga_brumby]

Welcome Little_B to Beyond Blue forums, thank you for sharing this part of your story.

With my PTS has been brought on by being a first responder. I was a member of the SES. Each of us who have PTSD reacts differently to our triggers, and found coping meconisums, to suite ourselves. I suggest you do it under guidance from your GP and physiologist. Too help walk you through the mine field, without blowing yourself figuratively. Don't be scared of telling your GP and physiologist what is going on in your head. because it will help you to get into a "normal" life ( what ever that is) I hope all goes well for you .

Peter

[Croix]

Dear Little_B~

I'm sorry you are facing this, unfair and unasked for. The first thing I'd like to do is reassure you that things do get miles better. I've had PTSD, anxiety and bouts of depression for a very long time and while it was hard to start with I now live a pretty good life. Unlike you mine was brought on by occupational hazards.

I'm similar to you in that at first I did not have appropriate treatment and very much went downhill. With ongoing competent medical care, which is both medications and therapy, I started to improve, and despite various ups and downs have continued to where I am today.

So if I might I'd suggest firstly you do seek help, and secondly don't make your mind up about the type of treatment beforehand. We may not react the same, but I think it would be overly hasty to shut out in advance possible avenues that might benefit you.

Anxiety, irrational thinking and being overwhelmed by matters from the past is part of it, and can be hard on a partner. My wife had firstly to learn that my behavior and condition was not the result of her actions, and secondly that supporting me was not straightforward and was very taxing.

Being withdrawn, bad tempered and unloving was sadly all too often the case. As there is no guide or rule book she had to work out for herself what support meant, which varied from time to time. One major thing she did - apart from supplying love and constancy was to give perspective. If I was overly anxious about something she would put it in proportion.

Actually this still happens.

I was aware of my behavior and wanted very much not to be a burden. Later on I was able to make up for things. My wife had support in the shape of her mum who was close and helped a lot. When you are in a bad place does your partner have anyone to support him?

My psychiatrist told me when more recently partially forgotten matters raised their heads that it was probably because of my improvement. I felt more secure and able to deal with things, and I think that was right. The later batch were far easier to deal with and did not last. Perhaps the onset of matters with you might be for the same reason.

You did mention some problems over the last 8 months, is there much you can do to relieve the stress? This is something I try to do as a matter of course, aiming to live a lifestyle the is a healthy, balanced and stress free as possible.

Croix