Porn and video game addiction in men to mask trauma

[John_P]

Hello.

about 5 years ago I underwent some trauma where i was in a failed relationship-and all alone in a big city!. I was 31 at the time about to get engaged. The relationship ended without a reason, and it activated severe anxiety and depression in me. I needed to self medicate and i was never a drinker or took drugs, so what did i do to sooth my pain!- porn and gaming! This then resulted in an addiction which i beleive is prevelent in youg men! I beleive it is the new epidemic!.

after 5 years of attempts to remove my porn addiction, i had been successful on and off but always came back to this crux, no matter how hard i tried! i would crave a relationship with a woman but my mind would always give in to this devil which is porn. I have tried to start many many relationships with women, where i would date a woman for a few months, then end it. This cycle was a result of my addiciton. For me its got nothing to do with the actual porn, but the dopamine rush my mind gets to sooth my mental health issues. What has worked for me was an accountability partner and also device app restricitions. I am not means healed from this as porn has been something i have used to sooth my pain a least a couple of time a week for a decade.

I dont know a young man that does not look at porn! I am worried for the youth and the effect this has on a generation and the side effects it will bring to society. Because in most mens mind, its not about the women in porn, its about the dopamine rush that cannot be found elsewhere! This dopamine rush is so strong that the mind craves it and will do anything to get it.

The website: 'your brain on porn' has helped me a lot to deal with this devil!

The real struggle is when i dont have access to porn my mind tries to find anyway possible to get it! Also, im worried that when it is removed entirely will my mental health issues calm down? how can i deal with these anxiety and depression symptoms? How do i approach a woman to ask her out? How will i build a serious relationship? Will i be able to crave my woman or will this porn desire be in the back of my mind? Will anybody be able to love me? these are my worries in 2022

[geoff]

Hello John, thanks for your comment and if I can direct to this help for porn addiction, there are phone numbers on this page that you can contact.

If you are addicted to this, then a partner you engage yourself with may find this to be confronting, not agree with it, and want you to stop as it's damaging the relationship which means trust is doubted.

Having a person to console, go out with and enjoy the partnership with is better than watching porn, because at some stage this has to come to a conclusion but your partner will always be with you to build a family and have children with, if however, you continue then you might stay alone.

When this can't be controlled then going out to parties or meetings it's going to make your posture very difficult and put your position in an awkward one, and you will quickly lose any friends because of this continuous addiction.

When someone wants to stop drinking because they're an alcoholic, then no alcohol should be in the house, so the same applies to you if you are able to get to this stage.

Please get back to us as I have to go out.

Geoff.

[John_P]

Hello Geoff!

I have been doing a lot of reading and the use of gaming and also social media and po*n changes your brain chemistry as those activities are high dopamine activities! This results in your baseline day to day dopamine being very very low! which compounds the mental health issues and the need to sooth through gaming, fast food etc! This is a cycle i want to break! and gaming i put a block on my xbox so i can't play any games....i haven't played a game for 2 months......but what have i noticed!!! my binge fast food increased!. I am down to po*n maybe once a fortnight but i have strong cravings for fast food and soda and watching youtube videos.....so my body is trying to compromise as it doesn't not have one dopamine fix, so it craves another.....

I want to build a relationship with a woman and start a family, but i have these mental barriers. I hope i can find the strength one day to do this! and i suppose i have to compound new habits to replace the old useless ones!