Police threatening abuse victims with jail :/

[RickyK]

I am a 32 year old survivor of child sexual abuse. The events took place across a period of around 6 months  in the 1990's when I was 13-14, by a male school teacher. This teacher was removed from the school, and is married to one of the other students involved. There is 3 other victims, that I am aware of, 2 have taken their lives in the past several years.

I'd managed to cope with it, mostly by shuttering it away. I'd had some counselling and AD's, but was mostly okay.

Fast forward to ~2010, and this teacher is now the Deputy Mayor. I kid you not.

I mention to the Mayor, who I had a relatively good relationship with, that this was causing harm to myself and other victims. Instead of getting support, I started getting legal threats. Constantly ever since. "Speak up and you'll be put in jail" I'm told, again and again and again.

A week ago I called the Mayor, and told him I felt he should step down from his position. That it was causing emotional harm to victims, even if he did not mean for that outcome.

So 6am this morning, two Police knock on my door and serve me with an AVO.

Aren't police, who are aware the case is being investigated by several parties (including Police) supposed to be on our side?

It's one thing to be getting threats from the teacher, and his friends - but when Police rock up and start carrying on about sending me to jail, it's a tough one to accept.

I just don't feel like there's anyone you can turn to. Now that even the Police are helping intimidate me, I'm just lost.

I am seeing a psycoligist (paid for by the education department) and getting AD's prescribed by my GP - but my goodness, I can see how people decide to take their own lives (something I'd never been able to get my head around many years ago - "how could it be "that" bad I used to think!" 

[Sophie_M]

Hi Ricky, thanks for posting.

It sounds like things have been very stressful. We can hear from your post that you have faced a lot of adversity in your life and that things are currently really tough. However, despite all the hardship you have endured you have managed to keep moving forward in your life. Hearing about everything you are currently facing we are glad to read that you have some professional support around you during this time, please know we are always here for you at anytime as well.

We also wanted to let you know about ASCA (Adults Surviving Child Abuse) - they have a support line and other information here.

We can hear that you are currently having thoughts of suicide with all the stress you are facing. We always suggest that you are honest with your treatment providers and if things get progress, please take measures to keep yourself safe. The number for your local mental health team has been emailed to you.

We are always available to support you too. If you would like to speak to one of our Counsellors we encourage you to call the beyondblue Support Service on 1300 22 4636. We can help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with counselling support, information and referrals. We also have web chat service available from 3pm-midnight 7 days a week, you can access this from our website here.

[geoff]

dear RickK, this doesn't seem to be fair, especially when two other
people have taken their life, and from what you have said anyone who was
or is still a paedophile as history says that once they are one, they
always will be.

Being Deputy Mayor is where he can have access to
schools, such as opening a certain project that has been completed, so
no child is safe.

What I would do is to go and see a lawyer, and
I'm interested that the education department are paying for counselling
and medication so I would get your lawyer to involve them, so hopefully
the ED maybe able to pay for the costs.

This guy is dangerous and
should have never been promoted to his situation, but remember the
Mayor can carry a great deal of weight and do what he/she wants the
police to do, so that's why you need a lawyer.

Please keep us informed. Geoff.

[little_pepper]

Hi RickyK

Last year I reported to the police that I had been molested
by a family member about ten years ago. Even though there wasn’t enough “evidence”
to have him convicted, I feel safe in the knowing that I have done all I can to
tell my story. Everything that happened to me is in writing in the hands of the
police and I no longer feel responsible or guilty should it happen again with
anyone else.

 I took this route
after my second suicide attempt and a long bout of depression. It took me about
a year and a half of therapy to make the changes I wanted. I did everything at
my own pace, First I cut off contact with that family member, then about 3
months later threw out everything that had belonged to him. (I think I was
still hoping for reconciliation.)  

At the time I thought that would be enough and I didn’t want
to take it any further but I still suffered from bouts of guilt and felt like
it would be my fault if it happened/had happened to anyone else. I looked into
what i might be able to do and came across the Bravehearts website where they
basically act as the middleman and will report sexual abuse to the police. You
can chose to give your details so the police can interview you or you can let
Bravehearts know that you don’t want them to be passed on.

 I’m surprised that if
the police know about the allegations of abuse that they haven’t opened an
investigation and asked you to tell your side of the story. I agree with Geoff
about getting a lawyer if you can afford it and you believe it is worth pursuing.
My therapist also advised me to look into one during the early stages of investigation.
Also there are lawyers who specialize in cases of historic abuse. Lawyers can
protect your reputation and advise you so you don’t get bullied by the police. (In
your case you might want to find out whether you can do something through the
royal commission)

I hope you have courage in whatever steps you decide to take
and remember that you are a much bigger person than this “deputy mayor” bloke (what
do they actually do anyway) You managed to scare the pants of this bloke when
you complained to the mayor (he must be scared otherwise he wouldn’t be harassing
you) and he will always be looking over his shoulder wondering what to expect. Hopefully
there will always be that niggle of doubt from the mayor.

In my case I found the investigating detectives to be very
professional and kind. They reminded me that even though they couldn’t take it
to court  it didn’t mean they didn’t believe
me and the court system was a different 
ball game altogether. They told me that it really comes down to who the
juries believe even if, from a police perspective it’s a slam dunk case.

 

All the best

Little pepper