Not coping following traumatic 18 months. Not sure who can help.

csm64 · ‎17-03-2016

My husband suffered a severe headache Xmas 2014. He went to the Dr several times but was told it was stress & sent home with paracetamol. Late Xmas day I took him to hospital & he was in a helicopter to Sydney within an hour. He had a ruptured aneurysm & was close to death. We live 6 hours away so I raced home & grabbed my sons & we drove thru the night to Sydney. Early the next day he had surgery & with luck & a great surgeon he survived. We were told he was extremely fortunate not to have stroke like symptoms & we should not worry as the chance of recurrence was very small. All settled back down until June 2015. He had a routine scan to & we were told they had found 2 new aneurysms located in his brain. We were told all of the facts & had to decide. Surgery carried a risk of 40% death, 40% disability and 20% success. If he chose not to have surgery the risk of rupture started at 15% per year and increased approx 15% per year for the rest of his life. Because of our remote location & his previous problems rupture was likely fatal. Our son was getting married in August so we decided to consider all the info & make a decision after the wedding. Within a few days of deciding this my husband said he couldnt live with this hanging over him, he couldnt sleep & couldnt concentrate on anything else so we rang our neurosurgeon to book a surgery date as soon as possible after the wedding. We had a beautiful day celebrating our sons big day although everyone was acutely aware of the upcoming surgery. We both took 3 months leave from work and spent a fortnight at the coast together before the surgery. All the time anxious of what lay ahead. On November 8th 2015 my husband was led away to theatre and we waited. After about 5 hours we had a call to come to the ICU. The Drs were confident the aneurysms had been successfully treated. Now we just had to wait for him to wake up and see if his speech, sight etc was ok. Luckily everything was fine. He was discharged a few days later but I was hesitant to return home so far from hospital. Just as well as he had an allergic reaction to a medication and ended up back in hospital for 2 days. Now we are home and returning to 'normal' life but I just cant settle. I worry all the time, I cant eat or sleep. I cant concentrate at work, I cry a lot for no apparent reason. I know I should be happy everything is ok but I just cant and I dont know what to do or who to turn to. Thanks for listening to me rave on.

Fairywings · ‎17-03-2016

Hi beautiful mumma hello and welcome what u have gone thru and thinking u were going to lose ur hubby is enough anybody feel unsettled. My hubby has chrons the only way they can help him is thru surgery too until he has jo bowels left and needs to wear a bag just so he can go to the toilet. I like to hear people rave on it means ur getting it off ur chest which is great. I would go and see ur local gp just to have chat and c where things lead. Also given what u have been thru start writing a journal it will help xx i hope this has been some sort of help to u. Please keep in touch u have all of us here too and our cafe is a great place to get support and yummy coffee and tea and sweets xx take care venessa 😊

Kathryne · ‎17-03-2016

Hi

I'm sorry to read about your husband's ill health. Brain surgery is an amazing thing. The fact that you're husband is going well,reflects the skill of the surgeon.

Now what about you. ? The last year must have been extremely stressful, what are you doing for yourself? If you live rural remote is there anything you can access to help you resolve the stress you are experiencing. do you have a good doctor you could discuss your concerns with.

Maybe you could have a weekend in Sydney this time for fun rather than the stress of the surgical visit .

Also what about your children or a good friend talking about things is generally a good way to stop the fear.

Hoping you can find resolution

Regards Kathryne

Carmen_Lisa · ‎18-03-2016

You are so brave. I think you come here, chat with stranger friends and feel listened to and cared for. What a crazy ride you have been on. Don't discount your own feelings in all this. Talk. Seek professional help. Be honest with yourself and others. Be kind to yourself. It's okay to feel like you are feeling. All the best, Carmen Lisa

csm64 · ‎18-03-2016

Thanks Kathryne. It is very difficult accessing help in rural areas. I tried talking to my GP but she said I was just run down and time would heal. I was quite distressed as it took all my strength to ask for her help. It was very disappointing. My friends and family have been great. I guess I just keep questioning myself about feeling this way when so many people have so much worse going on in their lives. He is going to be fine, I should just be grateful and get on with life. I feel a bit of a fraud, like I dont have a real reason to feel this way.

I bit the bullet yesterday and have made an appointment with a psychologist in the city. Wish me luck.

Kathryne · ‎23-03-2016

Hi

I'm glad you took the step to talk to your doctor, even though it was disappointing. I am glad you have a wonderful circle of friends and family.

Great that you have made an appointment in the city, and remember if that psychologist doesn't resound with you see another until you find one who is prepared to listen and provide support.

Kathryne

Carmen_Lisa · ‎28-03-2016

Rural GPs are a bit hit and miss. I hope that she at least wrote you a mental health care plan so that the psychologist doesn't cost you a fortune? How did you go? I hope okay. I remember the first time I saw a psychologist and I was disappointed that everything wasn't fixed right away. In fact, I felt worse having started to tell my story after trying to be strong for so many years. Keep at it. It will be helpful in the long run. It sounds like you are someone who doesn't give yourself much credit for your own feelings. You are valuable, and how you feel matters. All the best