New psychologist......

[PamelaR]

Hi all

Everyone welcome to have their input.

This week I'm off to see a new psychologist. My previous one retired and I've been trying to find a new one. The last two were pretty average and didn't help me at all in what I needed, i.e. to get through episodes of PTSD, anxiety and depression.

So, how am I feeling? While I've been waiting for my appointment, I've become very active in writing in BB. This has helped me to realise how - NOT ALONE I am. While it's not good for those of you who are experiencing these episodes, I do take comfort that help is at hand.

So, what am I afraid of? That I have to retell, relive, re-experience my trauma(s). Yuk, oh yuk. However!! When I started with my last (good) psychologist, she did not need me to retell, relive, re-experience my trauma. It was good enough for her that I had already opened up everything and explored all the hidden secrets with the previous psych! So it was easy for us to move on to 'identifying those things I was currently experience', 'what processes I needed to put in place to move on', 'get in touch with my inner child and give her the comfort she'd never had'.

So, what does this Thursday have install for me..... Hopefully, if he's worth his weight in gold, i'll not need to open up the scabs that have closed and healed. That we'll move on to how to proceed being retired, no longer working, suffering bouts of PTSD, anxiety and depression. So keep your fingers crossed for me.... Will let you know how I go (BTW, my GP says he's very good 🙂 ) Here's hoping!!

Kind regards

PR

[Guest8901]

Hi Pamela, I hope he's everything you just described.

Its a little different for me however, because although I'm seeing a new psychologist .. for me its my first. So I still have to go through all that stuff you spoke of, exploring all those hidden secrets. Urgh.

But I understand what you're saying. And I really hope you have a really good connection with this new psych. I look forward to hearing from you about how it goes.

Amanda

[bindi-QLD]

Hi Pam,

I just wanted to give you some big internet hugs X. I really can understand how you feel. Meeting someone new is tricky; you realize they will need to properly understand your history, but you also want to protect yourself from becoming overly anxious or, at worst, having another breakdown.

The last psychologist I saw was a stranger and a fairly new graduate, but was very comfortable staying in the present and dealing with strategies. I expect it comes with their training these days; that was very reassuring.

I hope this therapist is someone you click with. It may take a few meetings before you know or not.

Do you have any anxiety about the gender of your therapist?

X

[PamelaR]

Hi Bindi

Thank you for your encouraging post.

No i don't have an anxiety issues over gender of psych. I have been to male mental health therapy workers before. So no worries. Thank you 🙂

[geoff]

hi Pamela, I am really sorry for this to happen but I can concur with you because exactly the same happened to me.

My previous psychologist I had been seeing for 20 years, a long time but it was a workcover file, so my time in seeing didn't matter.

She was great and she could even remember names of people who had hardly been mentioned, but when she left, I was shocked, disappointed and saddened, especially not being told she was leaving.

The next psych I saw was not my cup of tea, as he said was completely the opposite to how I felt, and even believed that I shouldn't be taking any off the shelf painkillers.

Your anxiety, depression and PTSD maybe complex so I'm not sure they will know all the details, doctor-patient, so if you are able to note the main points associated with your condition then this may break the intro between you and him and not open up any points which have been sealed.

Please let us know. Geoff.

[bindi-QLD]

Hi Pam,

It's great to hear from you, I've been missing chatting to you lately:)

I figured you would be open minded to either gender as your new psychologist, and I agree, it comes down to the person, doesn't it?

I did put a little bit of thought into gender differences myself, when I started to notice my behavior change subtly around male versus female mental health professionals.

One thing I acknowledged, is I trust men much more easily. My mother was highly abusive , as well as mentally and emotionally manipulative. So its just a bit easier for me to feel safe around men. On the other hand, when I've had the good fortune of meeting a beautifully empathetic and nurturing female psychologist, I was very deeply touched. The kindness and understanding made me ache inside, to the point where it could reduce me to tears. I think perhaps it reminded me of something I am missing, and it brought out my softness and fragility- perhaps the neglected inner child.

Although I have a wonderful male GP and had really great male psychiatrists, I tend to be a bit more detached with them. I think I put myself in that role because I was strong for my father, who was always depressed or in a state of grief.

So I wonder if I perhaps accidentally coerced those professionals into enabling my emotional detachment, by hiding my needy side? Its something I feel I should watch, since inner child healing is probably what I need most.

Have you tried any of that with male mental health professionals yet? I'm quite certain they would be more than capable of it.

[PamelaR]

Hello Geoff

Thank you for your encouraging post. Yes, I think you could say my depression, anxiety and PTSD is complex and identifying the main points sounds a very good thing to do. I will certainly start to make a list!! Good one.

Cheers for now.

PR

[PamelaR]

Hi Bindi

Yes, it has been awhile since we've chatted. I've been busy over the past week or so and while I've been popping in now and then to see what's happening, I haven't posted 'too' much 🙂

Well yes, my mother was manipulative, controlling and unemotional. I found for years I steered clear of closeness with women. However, this has changed as I've healed.

I did see a couple of male social workers for awhile. I don't think those sessions were overly detached. Because i am an open person, i tend to talk about anything and everything. It took me ages to talk about emotions and feelings - mainly because i really had no idea what these were for a long time. I'll keep in mind to ensure I get what I need from my sessions with my psychologist. If it's not happening then I guess I have the option of ceasing to go and asking my GP for a new one. My GP is happy for me to find the right psychologist.

[bindi-QLD]

Hi Pam,

I have every confidence in you; you are well advanced in your healing and know what you do and don't need. I liked what Geoff suggested too, about writing a list.

I guess I was mainly wondering if you'd done `inner child' type healing work with a male psychologist at all, to compare? I have every confidence that it would be possible, the first person to really make me understand about inner child healing was a male psychologist (he was a friend though, not my own therapist).

I only ever started thinking about the role of a female in my healing when I was in American support groups. Women who were abused by mothers often mentioned this idea of a `substitute mother' kind of therapist, and how healing it was for them.

Its not something I can say I have any opinion about, or any personal experience. Its just that it was mentioned and I wondered if you might know more about it?

Anyway thanks for sharing your experiences, they help a lot.

X

[PamelaR]

Hi Bindi

Thank you for sharing that information about the therapist as the 'substitute mother' and inner child therapy.

No I haven't heard of it. Sounds interesting I must say.

The work i've done is more about me as the adult (so i guess being somewhat maternal) talking with the younger me. The role of the therapist in my past experience is one of - getting me to realise that I (the adult) needed to acknowledge that the little girl's concerns, emotions and fears. And of course to give her the love she never had. Generally in these instances, I (the adult) have ignored the pain and hurt she was suffering because of something I did in current time. That something often lacked feeling emotions. I was so good at ignoring (avoiding, not knowing) my emotions. To be honest, I would find it rather confronting if the therapist (male or female) took on that role when it is me the adult who needs to consider, love and cherish the little girl. In most cases i now am much more aware of my emotions as they occur (rather than bottling them up). I think this therapy has helped me to recognise and acknowledge what i'm feeling... It has been really good. I have healed so much.

I'm not sure that my appt with my new psych needs to cover these areas. But because i'm a great one for masking, he may need to help me uncover things i'm avoiding.

Thank you for your input Bindi, I really find it thought provoking.