Life beyond grief

[Harmony61]

I am new to the group to cut my story short I am on my own with my 15 yr old son,after years of caring for others I am know facing a chanellege with my son who is struggling he has witness the passing of his grandparents and how cruel the system is no family support from other family members and social isolation not because of him but where we reside it hurts to see him struggle his self imagine is shot his focuses on his teeth ,eats very little and has a negative outlook.I struggle as I have not come to terms with my issues of grief and i am not effective to keep calm bugger I would say its a problem we also do home schooling which doesnt go down well by some family members so we are already on the outer my son is everything to me as children are extensions of us and for me I would like to see him succeed and be a happy person but at the moment my son has a dark cloud hanging over him I have made appointment for him at Headspace in Sept but its till then our day to day is a slight struggle.

[Croix]

Dear Harmony61~

Thank you for posting here and I'm sure many will be able to relate to your situation and want to help. Do you mind if I ask if you live in a remote location, or if there are other reasons for your home-schooling?

Actually home-schooling can give a fine education. I've no idea why other members of your family don't like the idea.

I'm sorry for the passing of his grandparents, your parents too? At 15, if there was a close relationship then the whole world can be turned upside-down and grief pretty severe. I'm sure you would know that on occasions other thoughts like guilt and anger can be present.

I would like to pick up on something you said, that you had not come to terms with your own grief and found it hard to appear calm. I honestly think this is OK. For your son to see his mum is struggling too can make him feel less isolated and alone.

I think it is a pretty good move to get him in to see Headspace and I'm only sorry the wait is so long. I would imagine you yourself might be in need of great support too. Is there anyone at all you can talk to, who will care and want to help? I know you said some of your family were a problem.

If you see your own GP there may be some suggestions, maybe a councilor who can point out the vast effect of grief so you may cope a little better.

On the practical front until the appointment I can recommend doing the things that cause less stress in life, leading a healthy lifestyle - for both of you - with regular exercise, eating properly, trying to get good sleep and most important, taking time to do things you both enjoy, together or separately. Reading, movies, games, whatever distracts, makes time out, and gives pleasure.

If you would like to know more about depression and anxiety and grief have a look at The Facts menu above, you can also of course have a browse around this Forum to see how others have coped.

I'd like it if you talked again

Croix