Is it normal to struggle so much as a teen and does it get better?

[Guest_15955900]

I'm going to just get straight to the point. I don't want to trigger anyone, so I'll just summarise it with what my friend told me when I told her about my life:

"It sounds like a princess story before the good stuff. Like Cinderella when she was with the evil stepmother, y'know?"

Now my mum is sick, I've been rapidly declining in health (both physical and mental) and every time I tell people about it, they say it's just hormones or that it'll get better. Does it? I've tried everything I can think of. I've reached out, tried fixing it on my own, been as open as I can with others so that maybe they can help, and I even begged God for help every night for years, but nothing works... So does it get better??? We've been going through some financial issues, so that affects how much help I can get. Is it so bad to want that fantasy life that princesses have? I mean sure I know they're just stories, but if I look forward to having something similar (finding love or even just purpose in life), will I get better, or is it an unrealistic standard?

[white knight]

Hi welcome

Im so glad you wrote in because I think i have most of the answers and maybe other champions or members do as well.

Yes it gets better, life improves without doubt but you have to help it along. The best way to do this is being positively motivated and that is developed from within you, deliberately and purposely. Let me explain. 

Before I begin, I noticed you have worried about this and even prayed. I would say that's great but it is hope not decisively motivating.

OK. What is decisive motivation? Say you are sitting on the couch. You know you need exercise, a walk, but you think "nah, maybe tomorrow ". The very next moment you MOVE. Rise up and go, begin walking. Don't listen to the lazy side of your brain.

Finding love. Most people wait till it comes along and many of them never find love! Love doesn't appear like the wind, you have to pursue it. Ask that person you like if they'd like to hang out, ask them to be Facebook friends, smile at those you like and joke with them. Don't rush it, enjoy those journeys and expect that some relationships will end. Give love the best chance to find you. Pick wisely.

Attend motivation lectures, read books on motivation.  Set your short, medium and long range goals. Don't be afraid to change your mind. Don't tolerate abuse of you nor anyone else you witness. Develop your moral compass. 

Money. Its the worst feeling not having enough. Get a part time job. Money is also not like the wind, it won't come to you.

Embrace yourself. Believe. You are unique and wonderful. Tell yourself that everyday and it sinks in. 

Value every breath, a bee gathering nectar, a bird flying, a rose picked on those walks to get a smile out of your mum upon receiving it. These cost nothing but are priceless. 

Use search bar

• Switching mindsets
• 30 minutes can change your life
• Worry worry worry
• Motivation, search and rescue it
• Maharaji- he helped me for 25 years

Repost anytime. 

TonyWK 

[therising]

The warmest of welcomes to you at such an incredibly challenging time in your life. ❤️

Absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to live the dream. All dreams or wishes that come to life are first born from the imagination. The imagination can be so highly underrated. Every tiny little stepping stone toward some goal which is achieved or achievable, comes from the imagination. Next best thing is finding a support team, people who are going to lead you in the best direction along the stepping stones. They can also help you exercise and stretch your imagination even further while helping you expand on the plan or making it more vivid. Even Cinderella had her support network who encouraged and inspired her. 

One thing I've learned over the years, as a now 55yo gal, is that people can be dismissive and if you challenge them you can then be labelled as 'challenging'. We shouldn't worry about people who call us challenging, btw. It's like if people say 'It's just hormones' and you ask them 'What's the best way to manage then?', a lot of the time there's no further guidance. If they say 'Don't worry, things'll get better', you may ask 'How? Tell me how. What's the plan for things to get better?'. I've found there are 2 types of people, the ones who say 'I don't know. You just need to get on with things'(hmmm🤔) or 'Let's wonder about this together'. The best types of people are those who'll wonder with us, when it comes to what our struggles or challenges are really all about, as well as wondering what the way forward needs too look like for us. 

Circling back to imagination, what if you were to imagine prayer in a different form. What if you were to imagine meeting God in a specific environment (in a room decorated how you see fit, at a seat in a park or somewhere else maybe). Imagine you weren't talking to God but talking with God. Imagine a two-way conversation. Ask your question and then see what answer comes to you. This is a form of prayer or meditation some people practice. They find it helps them gain answers. It doesn't necessarily even have to be God. As long as you imagine that which is going to be of positive and constructive guidance to you, this is what matters. 

I believe one of the purposes for us being here is to discover who we truly are (bit by bit), which can take a lifetime. Another purpose involves us helping others discover who they truly are.