4 year's ago I was diagnosed with PTSD and had no idea what is was and for 2 and a half year's I didn't deal with it because I didn't know how too. Late last year I had experienced a major anxiety attack due to being stressed and overwhelmed with hypervigilance, I didn't get enough sleep or food simply living off coffee to stay awake which only heightened everything.
That I did not want to experience again on that level so I knew that I needed to understand PTSD and change my lifestyle.
In March I quit smoking, coffee, sugar and I continue to eat healthy and is exercising more. I go for walk's that clear my mind and I'm also trying mindfulness. Ever since I quit smoking it feel's as if my mind is clearer and I don't experience anxiety often like I used to, my body is not all tensed or sore I can breathe better as it felt like I was holding my breath when the anxiety started up.
In July I became extremely irritable over something very small, I knew it at the time but the feeling was getting stronger every minute so I stopped what I was doing got up and went to the toilet took 5 minutes to wet my face and try to cool down to no avail. I was at work and I knew that I needed to leave So I told my boss who had noticed how worked up I was and told me to take the afternoon off.
I didn't return to work for 2 week's as the irritability just kept gaining in strength and I felt like a danger to everyone around me and myself as I couldn't contain myself any longer so my inner hulk came out in the worst way and now I was displaying Rage.
It's horrible. Most of the time I cannot control it, it must come out. When it doe's come out I can't believe that just came from me.
My family have copped it lately I am grateful that they understand that this is something I have no control over but there are way's to minimise my irritability that lead's to rage and that's going for my walk's everyday, getting enough sleep, mindfulness and thinking that not everything does not need me to react to it.
I have found that being around negative influence's also trigger my irritability that I do avoid being around it however when I am at ease and clear I do tackle the negative stuff just to build myself up to it making myself stronger mentally.
I just wanted to share this with anybody who is going through anything like this Stay Strong.
