I'm not coping with my medical trauma TW: Blood, Surgery

[Sunnyflower12]

Hi everyone

I recently had multiple surgeries for my throat and nose in December. They were pretty regular procedures and relatively low risk. But on NYE I suddenly got a big nosebleed for the first time in my life and had to be rushed to the Emergency Department. The doctors gave me padding to stop the bleed and I was sent home by 11:30pm. I thought it was the end but it wasn't and I ended up having more bleeding episodes, in total 5 (2 minor and 3 major that required me to be hospitalised) in the past month. The most recent episode on the 20th led me to have a surgery to stop the bleeding. The doctors said that I should be ok now and that the worst is over...But I have been feeling anxious at the thought that I'm going to have another major bleeding episode. It's been 9 days since the surgery but I still can't shake off the anxiety or fear I keep feeling. I try not to think about it for too long but it gets extremely heightened when I'm by myself at home. I get worried about everything I do, thinking that any action would trigger a nosebleed. Even though the doctors say they think the bleed wasn't triggered by anything I did, I still can't bring myself to believe them.

Can someone please tell me what I can do to cope with these feelings.

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

after I read your story I would have similar thoughts to you. That is, things don't happen for no reason. I must have done something. If it is not healing correct I did not something wrong! Well, that is how my mind works.

For me things are really bad when something has to NOT happen to know it worked or working.

Is there going to be any sort of follow up to see how it went?

My psychologist would tell me (in relation to what you are saying, and I am putting words into her mouth) relates to future prediction rather than living in the moment. Here is the kicker, I cannot control what happens in the next 5 min, let alone the next day or days.

It can be hard to push away those thoughts.

But if there were 1 thing I could suggest.... grounding and relaxation exercises.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Sunnyflower12,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for joining us. Gosh, how terrifying that must have been. For something seemingly innocent like a nose bleed to land you in hospital! It's no wonder that you are feeling anxious.

As someone who has a lot of medical and health issues, I think the best advice I can give is to try and trust yourself- even though it was terrifying and scary, you did get through it.

Can you make a bit of a plan for if it were to ever happen again? Maybe that could help- whether that's bringing padding with you or having a copy of the letter/file to your GP with you so you can give that to the ED so they know your history. While you might not be able to prevent it if you don't know what caused it, I think it would help to try and remind yourself that everything was okay in the end and it will be okay if it were to happen again.

I also agree with smallwolf with the grounding and relaxation exercises. It's okay that you feel scared when you're home alone and to try to just 'sit with that' even though naturally you don't want to think about it.

I hope this helps,

rt