I don't know what's wrong with me

[DarkQu]

I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm always on an emotional roller coaster. I'm new here. I feel like I've reached out to help from GP before and because I have a child that has high level autism I'm just dismissed with not much mental help I feel like I'm so alone qu I'm sick to trigger I have angry outburst. I cry a lot. I feel so defeated and so alone. I tried to say that I'm going to be better but I feel like I'm stuck in the same cycle and I want so much better for my kids but I just can't seem to get it together

[indigo22]

Hi,

Welcome and thank you for reaching out to us.

I am sorry to hear you are struggling and have not been supported.

If your GP has dismissed you without support (shameful behaviour in my opinion), you need to find another who will actually care and listen to you.

I can see that there are 3 areas you need support in and would like to refer you to some appropriate helplines where you will receive some helpful advice for support in your area.

1. Support for your own mental health.

2. Support with your autistic child.

3. Support for your other children when and if they are feeling overwhelmed.

In order for me to give you the best advice, I would like to ask a couple of questions if that's ok.

Since your post is in the PTSD section, have you been diagnosed with PTSD?

Or if you have not been diagnosed, have you experienced trauma of some kind in the past that is effecting you now?

Please understand, I am not asking for details, just something more in order to point you to the correct people. There are a few I can choose from depending on your response.

The following helpline would be appropriate for anything related to your children and for your children to reach out to if needed.

Kids Helpline - available 24/7 - 1800 55 1800

You don't need to feel alone anymore, we will be here to support you.

Please continue this conversation when you have a moment,

indigo

[white knight]

Hi, welcome,

High emotions, my pet topic, I hope I can help with some lived experience. 

I'm 69yo, as a 12yo  boy I suffered a trauma when my brother could have drowned. I didn't speak for 3 months and from then on I was a crier even for no reason. I joined the Airforce at 17 and the prison service at 21 and survived similar occupations often in a highly emotional state. I had anxiety.

My family dysfunctional and a mother destructive nothing made sense. Then 23 years ago I fell in a heap and was eventually diagnosed with bipolar, dysthymia, depression and high functioning autism. It all made sense as I was an inventor, poet and other odd and extreme abilities aligned with the illnesses. Dysthymia was interesting, a constant low mood depression fed me with high emotions and with HSP, highly sensitive person, caused my tears and that often developed from childhood trauma.

So, you can see how a jigsaw can be completed and it is so comforting to know and get the meds to help along with treatment. 

There can be other issues like raising an autistic child, but the core of your problems needs to be addressed with a proper diagnosis before anything else. Start with your GP, pursue this with determination because I know how good life can be once it's sorted. Chalk and cheese, you'll have far more resilience and be in charge of you emotions.

BTW well done in raising your children especially one with autism... you are special.

Repost here if you'd like to talk more.

TonyWK 

[therising]

The warmest of welcomes to you at such an incredibly trying time in your life.

I'm going back a few years when I consider something my daughter suggested to me when I was facing ongoing stress. While I was never interested in seeking an official diagnosis, her suggestion was General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS). No idea whether that's what it was but the 3rd stage of GAS ticked all the boxes, the exhaustion stage. With the exhaustion stage can come fatigue, burnout, depression, anxiety, decreased stress tolerance etc. I'm wondering whether you have anyone in your life who can offer you some form/s of stress relief. That original GP would definitely not be one of those people, with them being way too dismissive. A more sensitive GP would be the way to go, one who can sense what you're facing and sense what you need in the way of help and support.

With GPs being medical detectives, it's their job to detect what form of dis-ease it is we could be facing. I can sympathise with you regarding a GP being too dismissive for your own good. On a different occasion, I recall going to see a GP regarding feeling next to no energy, to the point where it was interfering with my life. His diagnosis, 'You're a busy woman looking after a family, along with trying to manage the challenges that can come with aging parents'. Not settling, I was eventually led to a diagnosis of sleep apnea and most of the energy issues were resolved. We owe it to ourself to not settle for the wrong diagnosis. You're a mum doing her best under extremely challenging circumstances. People around you should be offering you the best support and advice you can get.❤️

[DarkQu]

1. 😮‍💨 I don't know what is wrong with me as a teenager I suffered from anxiety but now I think its something more 

I still have anxiety but now I feel like I have extra emotions going on

I do have 3 children 6 year old with level 3 autism global development delay non verbal and complex epilepsy that is manageable now but spent 2 years in and out of hospital and everyday is a struggle not his fault I just feel I lost myself along the way building a family and I'm in a cycle of rage and crying anxiousness a two week max before I explode and irrational sad guilty 

[white knight]

Hi again,

When was the last time you accompanied your children to a park for a picnic and watched the butterflies, got the kids to count them, smell flowers and find their names on google, watch the birds especially at a lake??

These could be the zero cost activities that not only will make your kids happy but also you will feel revitalised?

TonyWK

[Guest_87835218]

Hi I'm in the exact same boat as you well a similar one. I have a high level of Autism and Adhd to put to the side. There's nothing wrong with you nothing. Remember you are not alone other people may be going through the same things. I'm stuck in the same cycle of crappy motivation and times may be low but there is always light. I know its cheesy but. You are beautiful and so many people care its okay to cry its okay to have an outburst people who dismiss you are cruel everyone deserves support. Love yourself and keep going I fellow autism will hold your hand to the end.