Hi. Newbie

[Lisado]

Hi.

I'm not in best way. 7 months ago my dad died. My family are back in the UK. My kids ( teenagers) and I flew to be there for his final days. However, my sister's turned on me ( been drinking and I guess stressed) and they beat me up. My son had to pull them off me. My kids and I ended up in hotel as I was scared of my sister's. I was in shock as we were close and this has never happened. I'm the youngest of 5 kids. Anyway. The night I left dad died. I never got to say bye. They blanked me at his funeral and left me sit at the wake on my own. Never said bye when we left to come back here. My man just stood and watched. I guess she was in shock too. I didnt8do anything wrong. I did all cooking and shopping. I think they hate me cos I left UK. I don't know but I just can't get over it. I lost my dad, my family then 2 months later I lost my job. I've never been out of work for 26 years. I feel I am lost .

I put on my smile but I'm dying inside. I am moody, cry, get angry. Not good for my kids. I just don't know how to forget and live my life. Now my closest Aunty is dying a nd usually I'd go home but now I'm scared too.

Thanks for listening.

[Croix]

Dear Lisado~

First I'd like to welcome you here and say I regret the length of time it has taken for you to get a response. Please believe me when I say it is not you, nor is it the subject of your post. Sometimes the system fails us and does not work as we would like.

The death of a parent is a huge thing in a person's life, and you have really had only a short time to become used to the idea. Greif can go on for a long time, and affect feelings, behavior and outlook profoundly. Dying inside, moody, angry and all the rest can be expected, you are human.

I have found as I've lived beyond the death of a loved one that I have come to really enjoy the memories of good times together, laughter and affection - and a bit of the bad or angry times too. One gets to see the person's whole life with you, not just the last little bit. And even though there will always be sadness, the good memories more than make up for it.

With your auntie - is there a next of kin who might be a help?

Looking at you old posts I find a person who has manged to survive and improve your feelings. You went to counseling and it helped, perhaps it will again. You left a job, but got another, there is nothing to say you cannot do that again.

You had a friend who was amazingly supportive, can you contact them again? Also you have said several times your husband at least partly understands and tries. Teenage kids can be surprisingly sensitive and try to help too.

You will get there, the fact you worry about your kids -and include all you family when you went back shows a caring soul , plus holding down jobs for 26 years and raising kids shows strength and determination.

Please allow yourself some slack, you are going though hard times.

I hope to talk to you some more

Croix

There is not much I can say about your sisters except that I would think they are best avoided. Drink plus feelings of anger plus violence are a toxic brew to try to deal with. I would think if there was ever to be a reconciliation it must come from them.

I hope the incidents have not had too marked effect on your children and partner. Such violent reactions, particularly if unexpected, are a huge shock.