Grief and depression

[Kmw]

Hi my name is Kelly, I'm a mother of 3 daughters . Where do I start, well I've suffered from depression since my twins were born 6 years ago. Things started to get better last year and I stopped taking my medication and have been fine until recently. On Monday the 10th of April this year I got a phone call from my mum saying my dad had died due to a heart attack in his sleep. I didn't want to believe it!! My dad and I were really close, ever since he died I've been extremely lost. I cry every night and everyday, it hurts so much !! I've been running myself into the ground daily, mum needs me more than ever so I go there every 2 days and do all the cleaning and washing. I feel that if I don't help out I'm a horrible daughter.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Kelly,

I hear you...or as much as one can with only text on a screen. Your post struck a chord with me so I'm trying to write through tears.

I am very, very sorry about your dad. You obviously loved him very much and must miss him more than words can convey. He sounds like he was your rock. Grief and loss is devastating...losing loved ones is beyond excruciating...

And the thing with heart attacks is it happens so suddenly...you don't get a chance to say goodbye. It catches you by surprise...life can be so fragile. It's the most painful reminder of impermanence...

If the tears fall, they fall...do what you need to do. There is no rule book when it comes to grief. Grieve on your own terms and don't let anyone try to tell you how to grieve. Your loss, your pain, your terms. If you need to cry a river, cry a river.

The ever dutiful daughter...it must be so so exhausting to shoulder so much responsibility on top of the loss. I was wondering if you have been in touch with your GP for some support? And maybe charities who could step in and offer your mum some assistance so you get a break?

Again, I'm very sorry for your loss.

Kind thoughts,

Pepper

[Kmw]

Thank you Pepper. I haven't spoken to a GP about it yet, but I do plan to as soon as I have the time.

I have however contacted my old psychologist to see if I can set up an appointment. I've taken those first steps.

[Chrispie]

Hi Kelly so sorry for your loss and pain. My Mum passed away from a heart attack 15 yrs ago. It's really hard to come to terms with loosing family. Since my mum I've lost my eldest brother and my father. Grieving was so different for them all. I read a book on grieving which helped at the time. I also visited a psychologist which was comforting. Take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. Maybe you could treat yourself to a massage or a yoga class or go for nice walks can help clear the mind. Any chance there is someone else who can help out with your mum to give you a break here and there. Maybe there are community services that you might be able to get support for your mum with housework. Then you can take her out for coffee instead. Thinking of you Chris

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Kelly,

It's great to hear from you again. Good on you...I'm glad you have taken those steps. You absolutely deserve the support and help. I hope all goes well with your old psychologist. And you're always welcome to come back to this thread to talk...

kind thoughts,

Pepper