Greif & PTSD

[Guest_70646410]

A few days ago, I was informed that one of my cousins had committed suicide due to bullying, I wasn't super close with my cousin but this hit really close to home as I had attempted due to bullying. These past few days I've just been trying to distract, but come nighttime when it's time to sleep, everything comes rushing in. I have thoughts of it and see images in my head (the way she passed and the way I planned to). It's a weird feeling, I feel numb and sad and confused. It's hard because I know exactly how she felt. I haven't been sleeping well lately, getting less than 5 hours of sleep, waking up during the night, waking up early, which is unusual as I'm normally a heavy sleeper, once I'm asleep, I'm out like a lightbulb. I'm also feeling really confused with my feelings, I don't know how to explain it or how to cope.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Suicide is a traumatic experience for the loved ones left behind. My brother was 26yo and my uncle 82yo (a WW2 veteran) passed away that method in 1978 and 2002 respectively. Plus our family has had several attempted suicides including myself. It all began to make some sense when some of us were diagnosed with various mental illnesses post 2008 which, with correct professional help and subsequent medication we havent had another event.

So with that lived experience I can safely give some advice as to how to cope. 

• Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve whenever your mind desire to
• Accept that everyone grieves differently for different lengths of time. Ignore those that might suggest otherwise eg "get over it"
• After some time you might be better to allocate some time put aside for some reflection to look at photos, remember good time and so on rather than unexpected thoughts during working hours and so on.
• Reach out to others to ensure they are ok. If they want to talk thats good for them and good for you
• Seek a GP visit to discuss your difficulties especially anxiety and sleep issues.
• Plant a bush, a rose plant in their honour. I noticed my tulips just came out yesterday. Those bulbs come out this time of year so you could buy some bulbs and every years this time they rise and bloom, that would be your cousins week in their honour.
• Writing. I use poetry (see below) or you can write a short story.

Rest assured you will eventually move on from this and be left with loving memories. When we are so raw with grief we dont ever think we'll move on but you will.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

DAD’S WRINKLES

Soon it became obvious

As my ol’ man came of age

That the strain of life itself

Did complete another page

And as his ‘book’ filled up

To approach the final scene

I knew each wrinkle on his face

And which one came from me

And as I read the last line

Of the chapter not complete

It tells of his twilight years

That he knew he’d never meet

Dad was never scared to die

He faced it brave and strong

And I knew each wrinkle on his face

And where they did come from….

TonyWK

I hope that helps. It's ok to grieve. Reply anytime

TonyWK