I was a passenger in a serious car accident at the start of this year, and since then I'm always afraid of death. Basically a bunch of my friends and I went to a backstreet that is notorious for hooning and one of the guys was mucking around in his car. Each of my friends took turns being a passenger and I was against it at first, but then decided to take a ride too. At first it was all fine, but then he decided to fishtail down a hill and it didn't take long before he lost control. We went sideways into two poles and then rolled into a ditch. It was the most frightening experience of my life and when the car came to a halt I thought I had died. It all happened so quickly but I still remember every thought that rushed through my head as it happened. All I could think about was my mum and that everything was over.
Against all odds I was almost completely uninjured except for a split eyebrow, but I still can't go a day without thinking about it. I panic when I'm in a car with my friends, I panic when I'm on the train, I panic when I'm trying to fall asleep. I have had many dreams about car crashes and plane crashes lately. My dad takes planes weekly and I now worry each time that I'll never see him again.
The event that stood out to me the most was when I recently went to the beach with my family. I have always loved the water and I'd swim out right through heavy waves. This time, I was in the water for about 5mins with pretty small waves and I panicked and got out of the water because I was too afraid of dying. I was never afraid of death before, but now it seems to be something I worry about every day. I just want things to go back to normal. I talk to my mum about it and she thinks I should see a professional for at least a few sessions, but I know how expensive that is and I feel bad. I'd rather use these forums.
