Father's Day

[Someone_call_the_pound_th]

Im not sure if this is correct place for this forum. My father very unexpectedly his own life this year. He hid his MH extremely well. Anyways for those left behind its been a tough year but I'm really struggling at the moment as Father's Day is approaching, it's become really overwhelming seeing all the cards and gifts in the shops knowing I can't give him anything. Not sure how to celebrate first Father's Day without him

[sparkvark]

Hi Someone Call the Pound,

I'm sorry for your loss. It does sound like it would be a difficult time of year with all the reminders about father's day.

If you'd like to celebrate the day, perhaps you could do something that holds meaning to you? Maybe an activity or hobby you may have shared, spending a quiet moment with a favourite food/beverage or at a favourite place, working on a project that you've been wanting to do... Whatever feels right to you.

[geoff]

Good Morning, and please let me welcome you to a site where so many sad events do happen, and I'm deeply sorry for the loss of your father who may have been too frightened to let anyone in on how he was feeling, sometimes this happens to the man of the house simply because he feels as though there may not be any reason why he should felt that way, but with depression no one knows when or how much it's going to effect them and also their family.
He can't be blamed for doing what he did, he just didn't feel happy about letting anyone know, I am truly so sorry for you and the rest of the family.
It's never easy when commemorative dates come along each year, but try and remember him in the good days that were joyous to the two of you, but break down and cry, there is nothing wrong in doing this, it's amazing these tears will contain happy memories but also very sad ones as well, but don't be afraid to show your emotion.
He was a man struggling through life, trying to hide it from everybody, but he was a gentleman of honour, so please honour him in all the best ways you can. Geoff.

[kanga_brumby]

welcome to forums Someone call the pound the black dog has escaped sorry to hear of your loss. If you have family you possibly get together and have a remembrance party. Celebrating his life and what he did, with the rest of your life just be the best you you can in remembrance of him. to honer what he did. Not compulsory just a thought.

Kanga

[White_Rose]

Hello SCTPTBDHE

Welcome to Beyond Blue. Much shorter name and saves using the characters. Is it possible you could give us a shorter name?

I was about to suggest the same thing as Kanga. Celebrate Father's Day and your father by having a party of some sort. Dig out all the photos, serve his favourite food and talk about him. I have found people tend to push aside their grief which seems to make it worse.Friends of mine lost their son, aged 23, in a workplace accident. At the wake after the funeral I heard the father laughing and it was at some memory that had surfaced. No, not being callous, just loving his son and wanting to remember how much happiness he gave.

A party will not stop you missing your dad but it will help with the pain. It always helps when you share your pain with others in the same situation. So get the family together, cook snags on the BBQ and drink a toast your dad. That pain will gradually fade to manageable, not because you have forgotten him but because you can remember the good times you had with him.

Sadly many people only find out someone they love has a mental illness, usually depression, after the death of that person. I also know that these people are in great pain which could have been eased by talking to someone. Often the person feels they will a nuisance to the family by inflicting their depression on them.I know this may upset you more but I wanted you to understand how much he cared about his family. He wanted to manage on his own. There really was nothing you could have done in these circumstances, you or any other member of the family.

You will never forget your dad as I will never forget my mom though she died 17 years ago. The wound is still a little raw but I am remembering the good times we had and it makes life easier.

I will give a phone number to an organisation which helps people who have lost someone to suicide. Don't be put off by the title. Suicide Call Back Service phone number 1300 659 467 which is available 24/7. The web address is https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/

The people who answer this phone are all very well trained and able to give you some comfort. Check out the web site first and if you feel like it, give them a ring. Let us know how you are going.

Mary