I have just identified that i have some issues as an adult, which i didn't realise may be attributed to my childhood, i am in my 40's and thought I was fine but i am not.
My mother was abusive to me as a child, she used to destroy our belongings, particularly things that were of great value to us, an example was she would ask you how much you liked this particular item then snap it's head off and i remember her doing this around the age of 5 or 6. She was not nurturing and was constantly enraged and would throw things, break things etc, i guess we learnt to tip toe around her or hide. As an adult she has periodically been abusive, with behaviours that i cannot understand myself. I believe she has a mental illness that was not diagnosed or has not been disclosed. In this situation as grim as it was, I was very fortunate to have grandparents that took the pain away by nurturing, loving us and making us feel like we were the most important kids in the world, this i believed has helped me be somewhat strong although i am weak in other ways.
I am afraid to stand up for myself to people that are in positions of power, so work wise this has been a struggle, particularly with situations when people have bullied me. I have identified that i flee if things get too heavy as this is the only way i can protect myself. I am working with a therapist at the moment and this so far has been helpful but through therapy i really feel flawed. The therapist asked me to say to my younger self "what would you say to that young girl", my answer was " i could say nothing, there is no way out".
I am in early days of therapy and i look forward to going, but i am wanting to hear how have you empowered yourself when you were afflicted by the things that i experienced as a child. Particularly stories of how you have stood up to yourself when you previously couldn't.
Many thanks
